Down With Bradford Pears!

Yesterday I noticed tiny blossoms on my Bradford Pear tree in my front yard. This morning--BAM! They were fully open and rejoicing in the sunlight. Sure, these trees are visually appealing. They look nice lined down a long driveway or a street. It lets you know spring is here. Well, whatever. For allergy sufferers, they are the devil in disguise. They are the stinkiest trees in all the land. If I could imagine what a fish butt would smell like, I would imagine it would be much like the scent of the Bradford Pear flowers. I don't like smelling fish butt and I don't like Bradford Pear trees.
A large Bradford Pear sits in all its majesty outside of my classroom window. The fish butt smell blows into my classroom through my a/c unit. My entire classroom smelled today. Even though I know the smell wasn't coming from me, I couldn't help but to feel self-conscious. By 2:00, I had about reached my limit of the smells. My throat was closing up, I was sneezing my head off, and several of my kids were complaining of the smell and their throats hurting. I was so angry with that tree that I would have chopped it down if I had a chainsaw or access to a bulldozer. I am so serious.
In the words of one of my favorite student's from my class last year, in reference to the tree: "Stinky, stinky. Smell like dog poo." I couldn't agree more, dear child. I couldn't agree more.

I'm pretty much in love with this guy...

Nope. Not a boy. A burrito. My dear little brother introduced me to this little beauty...Taco Bell's Volcano Burrito. It's a delicious concoction of beef, rice, cheddar cheese, crunchy red tortilla strips, sour cream, and cheesy molton hot lava sauce. The hot lava sauce makes you want to do high kicks. I had my first Volcano Burrito two nights ago and it's all I'm thinking about right now. That probably means I'll be getting in my car in just a minute to drive to my local Taco Bell. I've always heard that it's not good to deny your cravings. It's also not good to consume a burrito that's 800 calories, but...

Jumping Jehoshaphat!

This evening I went to the pharmacy to pick up a new medication. I assumed that it was going to cost a pretty penny (because I didn't know how well my insurance would cover it) and I was already worrying about how I was going to add this extra expense in with my monthly budget. I inched my car up to the Walgreen's drive-thru (because I'm not about extra exercise to walk inside) and swallowed hard, waiting to receive the bad news of the cost awaiting me. The lady in the window said, "That will be $5.00, please." 5 dolla make me holla! I was one excited little girl. If I hadn't have been buckled in my car, I probably would have done a little dance. I'm sure the lady in the window would have loved it.
While sitting at home and reading over the prescription information (yeah, I don't just toss it in the trash--I actually read all that stuff), I noticed the retail price of the drug. Are you ready for this? $620.09! What!?! I'm sure glad that I have insurance and that they picked up the tab to save me $615.09. If they didn't, I guess I'd be walking a FOR SALE sign out to my front yard right about now. I am completely realizing just how beautiful it is to have a job that provides me with full benefits.

Today is March 8th, so you know what that means...

In exactly one month, it will be my Birthday. It will also be Spring Break. Double yesssssssss.

When a Shoe Carnival worker calls you a freak, then it's pretty much official.

Contrary to what some may say; I am not that high-maintenance. I'm really not very hard to please. I rarely get bored and am pretty content to just hang out. Traditional dating activities typically include some type of entertainment or a meal. Now, I'm all about the meal part of a date. This girl has got to eat. I love going out to eat (especially for Mexican food), but I'm also down to stay in and attempt to cook (or sit on the couch while the boy cooks). For the entertainment part of a date; I'm really fine with casual, laid back, and fun. I don't need expensive. I don't have to have anything fancy.

On Saturday I went out with my Mister. Before we went to dinner (food!), we went to Shoe Carnival. Yeah, we did. See, I sure do expect fancy treatment on a Saturday evening. It was actually my idea to hit up the Carnival of Shoes. He was on a search for some new work shoes. Me--I'm just always looking for shoes of any kind at any place. Now, it seemed that I was being one polite lady by offering up my Bogo (Buy One Get One free, for those of you that aren't down with the lingo) Card that had been sitting in my wallet for quite some time. My plan was to offer up my card so that he could buy his shoes (the 'bo' part)...I'd get a pair for free (the 'go' part). Now that's one nice girl to do that for her man. My perfect and sneaky plan was going to work until we flipped the card over to discover it had expired two months prior. Rats. That little disappointment didn't stop us from enjoying ourselves to the fullest inside that crazy store of shoes. We kicked up our heels, did a little jig, sang a little diddy and headed over to the men's section. So, that's an over-exaggeration, but it made for a delightful image in my head.
You know, shoes are funny little creatures. Shoes can be the most beautiful things on this green and luscious earth. They can also be as unfortunate as The Bachelor's new woman Vienna's roots. I never realized how many delightfully funny-looking shoes the Shoe Carnival holds. It was a treasure trove of leather, lace, and Velcro gems. We first stumbled upon some men's sandals. You know the type. The ones that men wear with black socks. True works of art. Then we found an assortment of nice black tennis shoes. The best pair were black Velcro sneakers. I asked Mister to try them on. He didn't hesitate. That is a quality that I really admire in a person. He that has no shame for the sole (no pun intended) benefit of my amusement. This isn't the exact pair, but a darn close replica of the mess that were the black Velcros:

Seeing them on caused me to laugh so hard that I was crying...and almost peeing. It was a truly refreshing laughter. A soul-cleansing, if you will. I so regret not taking a picture. We had a few more laughs. He tried on some skater shoes. It was glorious fun. We made our way to the middle of the store. He was looking at running shoes. I was, well, I guess you could say "playing". I was hiding in one of the perpendicular aisles and was spying over a wall of shoe boxes. Just looking in Mister's general direction, hoping he'd realize I was starring at him. I did it for a long time and he didn't notice me, but a Shoe Carnival worker did, so the game was over for me. I went over to his aisle where he was standing near the worker. She told me that I was really starting to freak her out because she thought I was starring at her. Oops. She continued to tell me a good five times how "freaky" I looked. That's exactly what I was going for. She really thought I was a creeper. Hilarious. Remember the show Home Improvement? Tim the Toolman Taylor's neighbor, Wilson. Yeah. That's what I'm thinking I looked like. Except I had piercing, starring eyeballs, that were obviously freaky.

I love being surrounded by people that allow and encourage me to be my true self. I can be a pretty strange kid at times. I like to do weird things. I like to make stupid faces and make up nonsense words. I love that I am blessed with family and friends that don't make me feel stupid for being different...even if it means that I look like a creeper starring at strangers from behind a wall of shoe boxes.

If you are ever looking for an entertaining and free (unless you buy a pair of shoes) date idea, I'm thinking the Shoe Carnival is a pretty great place to go. The fun that is inside is endless and waiting for you and your beau. It's just up to you to discover it.

You need a drink, Ms. Marcum

During the week of school Valentine festivities, I let each student in my class make a Valentine for someone special in his or her life. Read: afternoon time-killer activity. One of my students very proudly presented me with the above Valentine that he made for me. The little person is him and the big person is me, of course. If you look closely you will see two stickers located on my nicely drawn bod. One is an 'I heart U' sticker. The other is a martini glass with a heart, which is conveniently located below my mouth. I wrote down his exact words on the back of this Valentine because I never wanted to forget what he told me. I also wanted to be able to share it with you.

As he handed it over, he said, "I made this Valentine for you because you need a drink." I laughed. Hard. Then I stopped and thought, "Wow...is my stress that obvious to a five year old?" Geez. I also don't know why I had martini glass stickers in with my Valentine craft supplies. I promise I'm not a Kindergarten teacher that promotes drinking to my students. Whoops.

Tired of Unsightly Plastic Bottles? Get a Mouthwash Decanter! Wait...huh?

I've been receiving Lillian Vernon catalogs in the mail for years. I was flipping through the new catalog a few nights ago and one of the items caught my eye. Then it made me chuckle. I want to share it with you. I want you to chuckle like I did.

Below is a picture of the item and the description that I lifted from the website:

"Finally, an attractive decanter for mouthwash! Keep mouthwash handy and the décor of your bath beautiful! Dazzling cut-glass decanter replaces unsightly plastic bottles. Can also be used for bath crystals, sea salts, or bubble bath."

The line that I really love is, "Finally, an attractive decanter for mouthwash!". Yes, because I'm sure everyone really stresses about having to pull out their plastic bottle of mouthwash in the morning. Seeing that big and unsightly bottle of Scope just really starts the day off in a bad way. I often think, "If only I had a beautiful, dazzling cut-glass decanter to keep my mouthwash in. It would be such a lovely addition to my bathroom." What the heck. Sorry if you have one and I just made fun of your dazzling cut-glass mouthwash decanter. If you do own one, remove it from your bathroom counter and hide it if I come over to your house so that I never know.