The Good. The Bad. The Ugly. The Very Fugly.

I feel like I have been away from my blog for 562 years. In reality, it's been about 10 days, but who's counting. For me, that's a really long time to be blog-less. I feel like I need to dust "Waiting on the Butterflies" off a bit. I see little tumbleweeds blowing across my screen and I hear the theme from The Good, The Bad and the Ugly playing. wa-wa-wa

And I feel like this is me right now. Except I would have a girl body and not a boy body like in this picture. And I would never wear cargo pants. And my butt would probably be way bigger. Other than that, it's straight-up me.

Stuck. In a big fat tumbleweed. Drifting. In every direction but the right one. 

{Napoleon Dynamite long drawn-out sigh...}

Now I need some chap stick.

 So. Where exactly have I been these past ten days? I'm glad you asked, friend. I've been losing my freakin' mind. I wish I could say I've been saddled up on a giraffe galloping through the African grasslands having a fun adventure. Instead I received a one-way ticket to Crazy Town. I boarded that train and am well on my way. Full steam ahead.
It's best that I've been away on a brief blog hiatus. I have barely had the interest/energy to read any blogs, let alone write any of my own. If I had written any, they would have been nothing but "woe is me".  Probably an awful lot like this post...sorry, buddies. Sarah will get her groove back soon.

I know that life is busy for us all so I'm sure I'm preachin' to the choir here, but life has been extra busy lately, and you know, sometimes it just feels good to complain about it. My to-do list is 50.3 miles long. To say that I've been stressed is an understatement. I've never been one to handle stress very "well". When I get extremely stressed, it starts to show up in physical forms. I've gnawed off what little bit of nails I had. They're all gone. Bit them clean off. Okay. That's an exaggeration, but I've done some damage to the ten digits. They look sad and scary. If they could cry, they probably would. Tears would be coming out of my nail beds.
In addition to my funkdafied nails, the inside of my mouth has been one big painful blister. For some reason, during times that I am full of worry I bite the inside of my mouth. So, in addition to the stress, I get to experience a painful bleeding mouth as well. Extra fun. My stress has also been visible in the toilet bowl the past couple days. Yeah. Sorry for poop talk. No, really I'm not. You know I love it. My stomach has been rockin' and rollin'. And food just hasn't been very delicious to me lately. You know my world is on the edge of crumbling disaster if I say that.

So, why all the stress, Sister Sue? I'm glad you asked that too. Nice rhyme we just made there. I'll answer you in one word followed by an extra long explanation in my typical writing fashion: May. The month of May is what socks it to me. As does the month of August. August and May aren't my lovers. They're my rivals. And because I used the words lover and rival, I now I have "Karma Chameleon" in my head and that makes me angry.
These two months are by far my least favorite in the calendar year. These months mark the beginning and ending of the school year and they are hellish. The end of the school year is all fun and games...fun and games my Aunt Fanny. The kids might be carefree and lovin' it, but in the meantime this poor teacher is huddled up in a ball under her desk while rocking back and forth and mumbling nonsense to herself. Glazed over eyeballs and mangled hair is a high possibility. Kindergarten teacher gone crazy. Not the kind of crazy to land me on a video tape being sold by calling a 1-800 number late at night, but the whisked away in a car to a happy place to take happy pills, official kind of crazy. We have summer break for a reason.

So yes. Life lately has been testing, paperwork, no breaks, dealing with the drama unleashed on me by a beastly bully, bug infestations, feeling unappreciated, grad school dilemmas, and more. But it's almost O-V-E-R. 7 more school days. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

And a big HEY Y'ALL to my new followers I've recently acquired. I'm glad that you all found this delicious piece of web space and decided to follow me despite my recent lameness. Thanks for being my friend. You won't regret it.

My Little Brother is All Grown Up Now.

This morning my brother graduated from WKU. I'm a very proud sister.
He's a pretty great little brother and is also one of my best friends. We get each other. There aren't many people in the world that truly know and accept every little weird thing about you. I'm so thankful I have him to talk to and laugh with. He definitely makes my life more fun.

I don't know what we're laughing about here. I'm sure we're making fun of something. When I laugh my eyeballs totally disappear and become slits. It's unfortunate.

Here he is shaking the President of WKU's hand. I believe this is when the President told him good riddance and that he was no longer welcome on campus anymore. Only kidding.

Instead of throwing graduation caps, they're waving red towels. The red towel is a WKU thing.
My brother said it was awkward.

Mom, Dad, Sis, and I tried to entertain ourselves during the ceremony. Mom and I took a lot of pictures and spied on people through her camera's zoom lens for fun.

Dad got a little nap in. Mom caught him in a large yawn. He looks like a lion. I laughed at the thought of this picture for almost half the graduation. The stranger sitting beside me probably hated me or maybe he was concerned because he thought I was crazy from laughing crazily during a graduation. 

Look at the picture. If you didn't know my dad was yawning you might think he was screaming. Not in a 'woo, my son just graduated' kinda way, but an 'I just can't take it anymore' crazy scream. 

Just imagine that and think about our setting. That would have been a little inappropriate. 

The thought of that makes me laugh until I cry.

WKU Alumni. Class of 2011 and 2006. Representin' on The Hill.
Finance major. Education major. Following in the parents footsteps. Aw.

After graduation we went to visit my Granny because she wanted to see Adam in his get-up. 

Then she wanted to try it on herself. Look how cute she is. 

She was so happy to try on a cap and gown because she never got to graduate. She only made it through 7th grade. Her Dad wouldn't let her finish school because he needed her help on the farm. 

What's sad is that she had the most education out of her 13 brothers and sisters.

It made me think about how extremely lucky I am that I received an education and that I had a family that helped put me through school.

After our visit with her we went to eat our family favorite: Mexican. Nothing beats chips and salsa. Nothing. On the way out of the restaurant, I saw this car:

She's a beaut. I told him this was his graduation gift. The real gift was inside: the jolly-sized woman sitting in the driver's seat. She was ready. She was applying her lip liner as we were walking out. For some reason, he wasn't interested. I tried.

I really fancy the duct tape wrapped all around the trunk lid. I'm not mean for making fun of this. You see, my first car had duct tape holding the fender of my car together, so I'm allowed to make fun. 

Duct tape really does fix everything. My first car is a separate post altogether.

Happy Graduation Day, Freak. Glad I was there to make your day a more joyous occasion. 

I love you so much that I can't even stand it. Turds!

And by the way, he doesn't have a massive overbite as appearing in this photo. 

He just likes to make faces a lot.

Sure, the World Wide Web is great. But Blogger, you make me salivate...

Where were you during The Great Blogger Breakdown? Were you huddled up in a corner shaking and sucking your thumb? Were you eating your feelings of sadness? Were you experiencing moments of loneliness because you were missing out on stalking casually checking up on your blog friends? Does this sound like the intro to a depression medication commercial? Perhaps. BMDD. Blog Malfunction Depression Disorder. And the only prescription is a big dose of Blogger.

I will admit that I was a little stressed. I don't like when things don't work. I was ready to work on a post when I got home from work Thursday and I couldn't. I really missed my best good friend Blogger while it was sick. I didn't realize how addicted I was to checking it until it wasn't available. Do I have a problem? Why, yes. I do. I'm a blog writing/Dashboard checking/blog reading addict. And I love it.

I really can't complain about the breakdown too much though, because, let's face it. It's a service that Google provides for free. They give me this space to write this nonsense. And they allow the nonsense. That's pretty awesome of them. Let's just all be thankful that I'm not the one responsible for keeping it up and running. If you remember, I'm the girl that doesn't even know how to back up data.
The other reason why I couldn't be too peeved is the fact that we're dealing with technology here. It's going to mess up from time to time. Blogger is slammed on the daily by bajillions of people posting silly words and even sillier pictures. It was bound to crash at some point.

So, with that said, good job to all the computer techies that fixed the problem. I like you. I'm glad we all like technology. Always and forever. Always and forever...

Now. Let's get blogging! Typing that last sentence made me feel like I was on a cheesy game show giving high fives to my teammates (except I would accidentally hit a teammate in the face because I'm the world's worst high fiver) as we're about to dive into a pit of cash, or perhaps laptops if we're sticking with the technology theme, to snatch up as much as we can in 15 seconds. Man. That's exhilarating.

People. (Sigh)

There's not much in life that surprises me when it comes to people. People are freaks, weirdos, and dummies. I can use those words because they describe me as well. However, sometimes we have those moments when our minds get blown just a little bit. Those things that make you go ...hmm... moments.

Last week I had my yearly lady parts appointment. I was sitting in the waiting room and noticed that a woman brought her pre-teen son along with her. He looked at least 6th grade. That's kinda awkward, lady. I mean, maybe you don't have someone to watch your kid (even though he was totally of age to watch himself...unless he's unstable and tries to burn houses down). The awkward part for me was having to watch the 'gynecology channel' out in the waiting room with them. The TV was droning on about nipple discharge, using very colorful adjectives, and this boy was taking it all in. Then the video moved on to the world of STDs and the various holes and parts that can be affected. I mean, the nipple discharge abruptly stopped me from playing on my phone to take a listen. I was a curious cat. This boy was an extra curious feline. And that's when the questions started. "Hey, Mom..." Uh. Get this kid outta here. I felt like the kid was seconds away from turning to stare at my boobs wondering if perhaps I was there to have my discharge issue addressed. Ew. No leaky boobs here, by the way. Just an example. That's it and that's all.
The boy's mom then looked at me and said, "I wasn't prepared for him hearing all this." I just looked at her. I wanted to take her by the hand and lead her outside to the sign in the grass that said "Obstetrics and Gynecology" and explain what it all meant. Where did she think she was taking her kid? This is not a kid-friendly play land. You're here to get your hoo-ha looked at just like the rest of us.

Silly lady. Gynecologist visits aren't for kids. Unless they're in the uterus.

It's Peony Season!

I love this time of year. One of the main reasons? Peonies are in bloom. They are my very favorite flower. I've loved them since I was a wee child. My Mom has a slew of peony bushes in her yard. What's cool about them is that they have been around for a long time. Some of the bushes were from my great grandmother's yard. They were transferred from her yard to my childhood home. They are now in their current resting place at my parents home where they've been kickin' it for the past 14 years. They're pretty hearty flowers. Maybe one day I'll inherit them. And they'll probably die after one season. That wouldn't surprise my Mom at all. Leave it to me to kill what has been living for over half a century.

Here are some pictures that I took. Pretend this is facebook and 'like' them. Or else.

 Look at all of 'em. Only the hot pink have gotten their bloom on so far. The light pink are tryin' to work it out. They're still in their little peony ball stage. I bet this week they will open up in all of their majesty and glory.
You know what else is cool? There is a peony bush called 'Sarah'. It's the one in the left corner of the picture. It's my favorite but I don't know why.

The pictures below were taken by my Mom.

Yes, this one is a little cheesy, but I love it so. Daisy was being silly and kept rolling around to avoid getting a good picture. She's pretty Amish when it comes to taking pictures. The camera is the enemy. Silly corgi.

And now...Senior portrait session. These are pretty special. I have an actual senior picture where I'm posing pretty much like this (legs crossed and all--that's a must), minus the dog, of course. Daisy was just a sparkle in my eye during my senior days. For an extra fun treat, maybe I should scan in some of my senior pictures to share with you all sometime. That would be really neat.

I really regret not pulling my car around back and posing with it. Maybe next time. Hopefully.

I enjoyed spending time with my girl on Mother's Day. I'm a pretty proud Momma. And I'm probably the best corgi Mom around.

 

Mac is Back.

I'm writing this post from my rooftop. I'm sitting up here because I've been shouting and rejoicing for all the world to hear. My MacBook is back!!!!! After 30 long days we are reunited!!!!! Everybody clap your hands. Now Cha-Cha Slide. Now Tootsie Roll. Now Dougie. Now Chicken Dance. Now Cupid Shuffle. Now Macarena. No? Okay. Enough dance moves.

I actually picked up my computer on Thursday. Can you believe that I'm just now getting around to telling you all about it? I would have written a post on Thursday, but I was just a little too busy getting my Cinco de Mayo on. Priorities. You all understand. I hightailed it out of school to pick up my computer and then drove directly to one of my favorite Mexican restaurants. The celebration began at 4:00. We were there with the old folk crowd. We cinco'd. We mayo'd. We Cinco de mayo'd.

And yes. I took my Mac in the restaurant with me. I'm a freak.

Australian Santa Claus was in the house eating some Mexican. He was part of the old folk 4:00 crowd. I called him Australian Santa because he had on a tropical shirt and had a long white beard, so naturally, Santa. I hope he didn't get fajitas all in his long white beard. I had to sneakily take a picture of him. He caught me staring at him. Several times.

Hi, my name is Sarah and I have a staring problem. A major one.

I also stared at this pretty little glass during the four hours that I was there. Muy delicioso.
Especially with that salt all around that rim, rim, rim.

Well. Just wanted to share the magnificent news that Mac is back...with my brand new invention.

Everything leads into a song for me. I have a lot of posts in the warming tray, so hopefully I'll be servin' them up to you on the regular this week. 

Bye now.

Are you Gettin' Down on Friday?

Linking up for Favorite Things Thursday time!

Today's topic is favorite current song. 

This is a tough one, but I've chosen a winner. Drumroll, please...and the award for Sarah's favorite current song goes to...

Rebecca Black's "Friday"

Don't you just love it? Such deep and meaningful lyrics. Such a toe tappin' beat. It's refreshing to hear such quality music. Our music future is in good hands. Girls like this are keepin' the music alive. Alive, I tell you.

But seriously. If you haven't watched this video before, scroll back up and watch it. Now! It's horribly bad which makes it awesome. It has 2.5 million dislikes on YouTube. 

"Partyin', partyin', YEAH! Fun, fun, fun, fun, lookin' forward to the weekend!"

And who else thinks she looks better before she goes downstairs to get "fresh"? I think she looks better with her bedhead. 

Stay in school, Rebecca Black. Just stay in school.

Alright, now for serious. Right now I'm liking many current hits on the radio. I fancy Jessie J's "Price Tag." "Ain't about the (uh) cha-ching cha-ching. Ain't about the (yeah) ba-bling ba-bling". You've got to admit that's fun to sing. Especially if you put some soul into it. You can put your back into it also, if you want. That'll make it extra fun. Jessie J's acoustic version is something of delight. She's kinda silly with her vocaly ways. I feel like she could be my friend. She sings the way I write. Maybe I should write her lyrics. Genius.
I also like Christina Perri's "Jar of Hearts" and, well, I like anything of Adele's. I absolutely wore out her first album. She's got pipes. I've really enjoyed her second album too. I'm liking "Set Fire to the Rain" at the moment. So, there you have it. Based on my current song selections, I guess I'm into girl power.

Tomorrow's Friday! For a little pick me up and to keep "partyin', partyin', yeah" just listen to that video above whenever you feel the need. You'll probably thank me later when you're humming it.

Baby, I'm a firework.

Saturday night I went to our town's minor league baseball game. There were fireworks after the show. I didn't catch a ball at the game. I caught one of these instead. With my face.

Yes. That is a firework shell. This thing popped me right in the temple. If you follow me on Twitter, you've already heard of this. It scared me more than anything. It was a little too close to my eyeball for my liking though. This hard plastic tube put a hurtin' on me when it popped me in my head traveling through the air probably as fast as the baseballs were flyin' earlier. Stupid fireworks. I was kinda scared of the rest of the show. Felt I needed to take cover.

Holding my souvenir. Pardon my pursing of the lips. It's slightly an unfortunate look and for some reason I do it often.
 

Below are some more random pictures for fun.

One of my students colored a picture of a turtle and wanted to show it to our turtle. He was telling the turtle all about it. I love this kid. He should be mine.

One of my students fell in a huge mud pile out in the playground on Friday. I had to send her home for a bath. It was that bad. When I walked her into the office, the office staff said, "Please tell me that's mud." They were praying it wasn't a big ole mess'a poo.

Mud, grass and everything in that hair. Yeesha. I bet that bath time experience wasn't fun. If she were my kid, I probably just would have taken her to a car wash bay and hosed her down. That's probably why I don't have any kids of my own.

When I was at the grocery last week I spotted this hunk of mess in the lunch meat section. Now I love me some pig. Pigs are delicious in all of their porky ways. But Souse? Heck no. Do any of you eat this or know someone that does? I just wouldn't be able to. If you're unfamiliar with what Souse is, please let me enlighten you. This particular label says that it includes: pork snouts, pork hearts, pork tongues, and pork skin. Of course I had to do some research about this funk. Souse can also include things like brains, eyeballs, bones, intestines, teeth, ears...basically everything you would not want to consume.

Barf bags.

Well, I'll leave you with that picture, friends. Mmm. Deliciousness. Who's hungry?