You know how some people say they laughed so hard they peed their pants? Most people that say that probably don't actually pee in their pants. They just use it as an expression. Some people probably wouldn't want to laugh hard anymore if it meant they might risk peeing on themselves every time they started cracking up.
Well, on Sunday I laughed so hard that I peed my pants, er, shorts, actually. I'm not just sayin' it as an expression either. Luckily only my family was around to witness this 26 year-old peeing uncontrollably in my shorts in their backyard. I might have actually gotten embarrassed if someone other than my family was around. Maybe not. The family didn't seem the least bit surprised by this incident though. At all.
I guess now I owe an explanation of what brought about my laughter-induced accident. This is the dumb part though, because it's one of those "you had to be there" moments. This story will not cause you to pee your pants, so don't worry. You do not have to proceed with caution or read this while hovering over the seat of a toilet. It may not even bring about a giggle, chuckle, or snicker.
Basically all that was going on is we were all hanging out in the backyard on Sunday evening (July 5). We had just eaten delicious burgers (shout out to the Green Egg!) and were going to shoot off some of the fireworks that Adam and I had purchased down in Portland, TN. See, Kentucky is lame when it comes to the 4th of July because you can't even buy any decent fireworks here. It was also lame that the 4th was a complete rain-out. This is why we were having our firework display (if you can even call it that) the day after. I'm getting side-tracked.
Adam's favorite thing to buy are bottle rockets. They're cheap. You get a lot of them in a bundle. They're loud. They scare people. What's not to love? Adam enjoys striking up the fire bowl, dumping a whole handful of bottle rockets in, and watch them fly uncontrollably through the backyard. Adam dumped some bottle rockets in the fire, and a stray bottle rocket flew over to where my Dad was standing in the yard. It literally flew to his feet. Once the bottle rocket flies and lands, there is a slight delay before it 'pops'. It landed. Adam and I knew what was to come. Dad, obviously, did not. Dad was just standing still and looking at it. Maybe he was thinking he was lucky that it didn't hit him. In his mind he might have thought he barely escaped the danger that is the bottle rocket. His thoughts were quickly interrupted by the extremely loud 'POP'.
To me, it was the funniest thing ever. So, of course, the natural thing to do was to pee all over myself. I'm going to blame it on a full bladder. That and the fact that the firework display was simply too beautiful and riveting to go inside to use the bathroom. Yeah, that's it. Hearing the 'pop' of the bottle rocket some how made me 'pop' all over myself. I fell down to the grass and was yelling through the midst of the tears streaking down my face and the pee streaming down my legs, "I'm peeing all over myself! I can't stop! I can't stop!" Yes, it was a proud moment in my life.
"Of course I peed my pants; everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest."
-Billy Madison
