I also don't get car sunshades. If it's summer, your car is going to get hot regardless of the piece of cardboard you slap up in the windshield. Sure it may cool down your steering wheel, but so will the air conditioner in 30 seconds. And remember the car shades that were double-sided that said, "I need assistance. Call police." I just don't get that at all. Do you all remember these?
I can't move on from it just yet. I mean, I really don't get those sun shades so I must talk about them once more. My friend, Ashley and I have laughed at this strange car shade phonemena many a time. And then you go and do a thing like putting one up in a yellow car. For the love.
For fun, let's imagine some possible "crisis situations" that would involve using the flipside to your car shade.
Crisis #1: You run out of gas. It's the dead of summer. Whatchoo gonna do, homeboy?
Solution: "Why, flip over my car shade of course! I will sit comfortably in my car in the sweltering heat and I will pray that some passer by will read my message and rescue me!"
Yeah, let's hope someone reads your cry for help, because otherwise, you're going to be dead. From the heat, yes, but mainly from being a moron.
Crisis #2: You're in a wreck. "Oh no! I just flipped my car over. Let me reach in the backseat and find my ever-so-stylish sun shade. Help will be on the way in no time!"
Maybe I shouldn't knock the rescue sun shade. I bet that thing saved so many lives back in the day before the invention of cellular phones. Okay, moving on from the sun shades, even though I could go on and on.
I don't get when people use commas as ellipses. Like so: ,,, You use a set of three consecutive periods: ... Dummies.
I don't even care if you use them correctly. I sure as heck don't. They're schmeared all over this post and I'm sure in an incorrect way, but at least I'm using periods, dang it. I don't write "correctly" on my blog. I'm a ellipsis and parentheses junkie and I'm always starting sentences with And and But. It's how I do.
I don't get why I went to the grocery today to buy things to make hot ham and cheeses for lunch (Texas toast, ham, shredded lettuce) but forgot the cheese. That's only the most essential part. Now who's the dummy? Sarah is.
I don't get why things are becoming so expensive. It's killin' a single girl. Here are some things that blew my mind today: 12 packs of Coke, squeeze butter, and a pack of lunch meat were all being sold for $5 a piece today. What? I can buy a tube of butter or 4 pairs of earrings at Forever 21. I love fat in squeezable form (and the delightful farting sound it makes when you squeeze the butter out), but I'll choose earrings. Maybe those coupon maniacs are on to something. Hmm.
And the fact that it's costing me over $50 to fill my gas tank? Well that's just ludicrous and malarkey. It's both. That's how crazy it is. I drive a four door family car. My ride shouldn't be costing this much. Ever.
I don't get why turtles keep gravitating to my parents pool, but I kinda like it. It's a pool full of salt water. It's not good for you, sweet reptiles, but fear not! Sarah will save you! I have unintentionally started a Turtle Rescue Foundation. I'm the founder. My brother is the co-founder. I give him that title because he just rescued turtle #2.
Remember how I said I probably wasn't going to keep turtle #1? Well, I lied. I still have him. Little Turdally. He pulls at my heartstrings with his turtley ways. I let him play in my backyard today and he loved me for it. Now Turdally is a big brother. He's growing up so fast. His brother, that I have named Didgeridoo, has now joined our turtle sanctuary.
I just need two more and then I'll have a complete Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle set. I could be April O'Neill. Then I can get a rat and I shall call him Master Splinter...okay. I guess that's taking it too far. I guess...
Take a look at these two turtle chums. Reptile buddies. Turdally and Didgeridoo.
Turdally taking a moment to sniff the flowers on our backyard field trip.
Yeah, he's pretty much miserable. Let me run free into the wilderness!
Hmm. Notice I have a huge dead patch of grass in my backyard. That's what happens when you don't rake your leaves in the fall and let them sit until spring when your yard finally gets mowed again. Like I care though. Do you think I'm going to rake them when fall comes again? Heck to the no.
I hope you all had the best Tuesday of all Tuesdays. Mine was pretty spectacular because I didn't go to work today. I had some minor repair work done to the house, so it was a perfect reason for me to sit at home all day. I loved every stinkin' minute of it and I obviously had plenty of time to sit around and think about things I don't get.
What is it you're not gettin' these days?
