I Want to be a Princess Now.

Ello! I've noticed all day that people have been calling those that woke up early to watch the Royal Wedding one of the "crazies". Well. I guess I'm one of those "crazies" then. I'm so glad I saw it. It is definitely something I won't soon forget. I woke up around 4:50 this morning to watch the coverage. I thought that I would just catch a glimpse of her dress and then go back to bed. Yeah right. Once I started watching, I was hooked. There was no turning the TV off.

As I was watching this morning, I jotted down some of my thoughts. Yes, I took notes during the Royal Wedding. I did it for good reason, as I wrote them in anticipation of this blog, so shush now.

• I bet Kate's wrist is killing from waving so much. Carpel tunnel danger.
• I love Posh and Becks.
• David Beckham, you are hot. Really. Hot.
• Charles looks major old.
• The trees inside the church are beyond amazing. I wanna do that if I ever get married. I feel that would be a real possibility.
• Will I ever get married? Maybe in 2049.
• Kate. Amazing. You're taking my breath away. Tears in my eyes.
• Okay, Sarah. Stop crying. Seriously.
• Kate had the longest walk down the aisle ever.
• She looks so calm. And so happy.
• I love how everyone is wearing hats. It's like Derby Day.
• Why don't we wear hats to weddings here? It's so festive.
• I wish I had a British accent.
• It's so weird when they add an 'r' to the end of words that end with an 'a'. Example: Paular. Simon Cowell always called Paula Abdul 'Paular'.
• And then I try to imitate the way the word was said. It's always a big fat fail. My British accent sucks. It's like Britney Spears attempt at it.
• Oh Harry. I like you. And you're still on the market. Holla at me.
• Pippa is beautiful and I like her fun name.
• So really I should be saying Pippar.
• Harry should marry Pippa if he doesn't marry me.
• Hmm. Kate's brother is kinda cute.
• Such a fairy tale. It makes me want to sing a Disney song.
• William and Harry look so nice all dressed up.
• Those little boys in their red coats and white pants are adorable.
• Kate is beautiful.
• I like how Kate smiled the moment William said the "for richer" part of the vows. Maybe it was just coincidental, but she knows she's gonna be for richer.  ;)
• I want Kate's hair.
• I used to have the biggest crush on Prince William.
• He sure is balding. Dang. 
• William liked it. He put a ring on it.
• Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
• Speaking of ring, it seemed awfully tight.
• I might have a girl crush on Kate.
• If the bride and groom sit down, you know it's going to be a long ceremony.
• I HAVE to get in the shower.
• William looks quite handsome in his hat.
• I want to ride in a carriage.
• Dang! Look at the Queen's carriage.
• Look at all the Queen's horses and all the Queen's men!
• I wonder what the Queen's corgis are doing. I guess just roaming around Buckingham Palace and eating off their silver dog platters like always.
• My favorite sign in the crowd: "Checkmate Kate--you've taken the king!" Clever.
• I'm a chess nerd.
• Popping champagne at 11 in the middle of a crowd ? Sounds like a fun time to me. Bottoms up.
• Must. Peel. Eyes. Off. TV.
• Sad face. Leaving for work and I'm going to miss the balcony kiss.

I saw the replay of their balcony kiss x2. Their kiss was way better than Charles and Diana's pop kiss. Good job, kids.
It was truly a beautiful wedding. I loved every minute of it. It's not often that we get to witness real life fairy tale moments. I teared up a few times while watching. I definitely did when she got out of the car. She was stunning. Another time was when it was said that she "arrived a commoner and left as HRH (Her Royal Highness). Aw. Dreams do come true. Kate's a real life Disney Princess story.

I also teared up hearing a little girl on the news talk about Kate's wedding dress. Imagine this being said in the most adorable of British accents: "When she was walking down, it looked as though it {the dress} were floating in mid-air."

Image from InStyle.com

I've been thinking about this dang wedding all day and just how beautiful it all was. I love seeing two people that look so happy and so in love. It's truly refreshing. And well, the whole royal family thing with their palaces and horse drawn carriages and all is just so neat. I'm in awe of it all. You can tell that the UK truly loves their Royal Family.

I will leave you now with this. This goes out to all my fellow single ladies:

Can You Smell What Sarah is Cooking? A Big Pot of Random.

My nerves have been grinded all day. I've had to listen to one of my students bark cough all stinkin' day long. The cough sounds like a seal that did hard drugs. His cough is my least favorite sound in this world. Worse than nails on a chalkboard. Is that expression even used anymore? Since there aren't any chalkboards...

There are two movies that I want to see. The first is Disney's Prom. Yeah. I'm 12. I really think I'll love the movie. I'll probably feel the urge to stand up or clap at some point during the movie. I also want to see Bridesmaids. It looks fun and dumb. Winning movie qualities in my book.

I've tried to act like I don't really care about the Royal Wedding. In reality, I've watched the William and Kate movie on Lifetime three times. Three. You can't really pretend like you don't care about it if you've watched that movie that many times. I've watched TLC the past two nights while they've done a countdown to the wedding with royal family facts. Did you know that Diana was a kindergarten assistant for two years before she got married? Fascinating. So I'm admitting it now loud and proud. I care. I do.

Tomorrow is going to be a big day. The Royal Wedding and a space shuttle launch. So much to watch. I almost can't take it. You best believe my class and I will be tuning in to watch the blast off action.

I've been fascinated by my little turtle friend. He's been staying at school this week and my kids have enjoyed watching him. I've spent a lot of time just starring at him. The turtle probably thinks I'm creepy. I don't know how many of you have studied a turtle, but there is something very interesting about their heads. They have all this extra skin on their neck to allow for it going into their shells and such. It just looks a little too much like an uncircumcised buddy to me. Today I couldn't take it anymore and I had to share my thoughts with someone. I can't share my thoughts with my five year olds, so my poor Assistant is always left being the recipient of my thoughts (which, like my posts, are ALL over the place), my stupid comments, and jokes. I asked her to come back and look at the turtle head. I shared with her my thoughts. She said, "Yep. The turtle has foreskin alright." Then she said, "Sarah, you need a boyfriend." And that's why we work together.

Today there were maggots turned itsy bitsy baby flies under one of our trees on our playground. I mean, really. A swarm of them all over the ground. We were trying to figure out what they were eating on. Whatever it was cylindrical in nature and log-like. My guess was a turd. A petrified turd. That's really what it looked like. I went in and told our Assistant Principal that the custodian probably needed to come out and pick up whatever it was. The flies needed to get on outta there and due to the over population of flies, birds were dive bombing the playground. It was quite a scene. The kids were intrigued. The teachers were horrified. Eventually all of the flies flew off. I went over to inspect this sure-to-be gross thing on the ground that they had been devouring. It was a root. As in an exposed root of the tree. Guess that explains the log-like appearance. Yeah. Needless to say I had to call back to the office and I told them to abort the mission. Since when do flies think tree roots are tasty?

One of my biggest life goals? That's easy. To have the wit and spunk of Sophia Patrillo when I'm old. She is one of my greatest TV heroes along with Dwight K. Schrute. Those two would make one heck of a team.

I'm so glad it's not storming tonight and that it is Friday Eve. I have definitely been working for the weekend. That will be the trend for the next five weeks. I can see the summer light!

Favorite Things Thursday.

I'm linking up with a fellow South Central Kentucky girl, Melanie to share one of my favorite things. 

Today's topic is to share your favorite book. I have so many favorite books. I love many adult books, but children's books have an extra special place in my heart. That fact is more than evident if you see my bookshelf and the 50+ themed tubs full of read-alouds in my classroom. If I had to choose a favorite children's book, it's one that probably not many of you are familiar with. It's an older book and is now out of print. If you know this book and loved it so much when you were a kid, that probably means we're destined to be BFFs for all time.

It's this little gemstone, No, No, Joan. 

This was my favorite book during kindergarten and first grade. My mom was the librarian at my school and I seriously checked this book out every week. Its card catalog card was full of nothing but "Sarah" written in my little kid handwriting. Card catalog...man, computers sure helped save the day with that system.

A new school was built after my first grade year and Mom had to box up all of the books for the move. That little book was so worn out (thanks to me) that mom pulled it out of circulation and let me have it. Happiest day of my life. I'm actually surprised she gave it to me. I wore. her. out. with this book.

There are many instances in life when I just want to shake my head at someone and say, "No, no, Joan". You see a woman at Wal-Mart wearing pants that are riding up the cooch a little too much? "No, no, Joan".  You see a kid sporting a mullet? "No, no, Joan." You see someone displaying a "need assistance, call police" sunshade in a yellow car? "No, no, Joan! Heck nah!"

Sigh. There are many no no's in life.

This book has a very predictable text, which is what made it a fun book. Joan was a mischievous little feline. She heard, "No, No, Joan" from her owner after she caused trouble and did something naughty. My favorite page was when Joan was caught drinking from the toilet. I've always been a fan of all things bathroom related.

Silly Joan. So there you have it. That's my pick for favorite book. It's the winner.

I Don't Get It.

I don't get yellow cars. Yellow is the color of a school bus and cheese and boogers and Big Bird...man, I really hate that guy. Why do you want to drive a car of this color? It's disgusting. I'm sorry if you have one. I truly am. You booger car driver, you.

I also don't get car sunshades. If it's summer, your car is going to get hot regardless of the piece of cardboard you slap up in the windshield. Sure it may cool down your steering wheel, but so will the air conditioner in 30 seconds. And remember the car shades that were double-sided that said, "I need assistance. Call police." I just don't get that at all. Do you all remember these?

My mom used to have one when I was a kid. The front of the cardboard sun shade was a scene of a majestic sailboat out in the water. You flip it over and it's screaming at you in bold red caps to call the cops.

I can't move on from it just yet. I mean, I really don't get those sun shades so I must talk about them once more. My friend, Ashley and I have laughed at this strange car shade phonemena many a time. And then you go and do a thing like putting one up in a yellow car. For the love.
For fun, let's imagine some possible "crisis situations" that would involve using the flipside to your car shade.
Crisis #1: You run out of gas. It's the dead of summer. Whatchoo gonna do, homeboy?
Solution: "Why, flip over my car shade of course! I will sit comfortably in my car in the sweltering heat and I will pray that some passer by will read my message and rescue me!"
Yeah, let's hope someone reads your cry for help, because otherwise, you're going to be dead. From the heat, yes, but mainly from being a moron.

Crisis #2: You're in a wreck. "Oh no! I just flipped my car over. Let me reach in the backseat and find my ever-so-stylish sun shade. Help will be on the way in no time!"

Maybe I shouldn't knock the rescue sun shade. I bet that thing saved so many lives back in the day before the invention of cellular phones. Okay, moving on from the sun shades, even though I could go on and on.

I don't get when people use commas as ellipses. Like so: ,,, You use a set of three consecutive periods: ... Dummies.
I don't even care if you use them correctly. I sure as heck don't. They're schmeared all over this post and I'm sure in an incorrect way, but at least I'm using periods, dang it. I don't write "correctly" on my blog. I'm a ellipsis and parentheses junkie and I'm always starting sentences with And and But. It's how I do.

I don't get why I went to the grocery today to buy things to make hot ham and cheeses for lunch (Texas toast, ham, shredded lettuce) but forgot the cheese. That's only the most essential part. Now who's the dummy? Sarah is.

I don't get why things are becoming so expensive. It's killin' a single girl. Here are some things that blew my mind today: 12 packs of Coke, squeeze butter, and a pack of lunch meat were all being sold for $5 a piece today. What? I can buy a tube of butter or 4 pairs of earrings at Forever 21. I love fat in squeezable form (and the delightful farting sound it makes when you squeeze the butter out), but I'll choose earrings. Maybe those coupon maniacs are on to something. Hmm.

And the fact that it's costing me over $50 to fill my gas tank? Well that's just ludicrous and malarkey. It's both. That's how crazy it is. I drive a four door family car. My ride shouldn't be costing this much. Ever.

I don't get why turtles keep gravitating to my parents pool, but I kinda like it. It's a pool full of salt water. It's not good for you, sweet reptiles, but fear not! Sarah will save you! I have unintentionally started a Turtle Rescue Foundation. I'm the founder. My brother is the co-founder. I give him that title because he just rescued turtle #2.
Remember how I said I probably wasn't going to keep turtle #1? Well, I lied. I still have him. Little Turdally. He pulls at my heartstrings with his turtley ways. I let him play in my backyard today and he loved me for it. Now Turdally is a big brother. He's growing up so fast. His brother, that I have named Didgeridoo, has now joined our turtle sanctuary.
I just need two more and then I'll have a complete Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle set. I could be April O'Neill. Then I can get a rat and I shall call him Master Splinter...okay. I guess that's taking it too far. I guess...

Take a look at these two turtle chums. Reptile buddies. Turdally and Didgeridoo.

Turdally taking a moment to sniff the flowers on our backyard field trip.

Yeah, he's pretty much miserable. Let me run free into the wilderness!

Hmm. Notice I have a huge dead patch of grass in my backyard. That's what happens when you don't rake your leaves in the fall and let them sit until spring when your yard finally gets mowed again. Like I care though. Do you think I'm going to rake them when fall comes again? Heck to the no.

I hope you all had the best Tuesday of all Tuesdays. Mine was pretty spectacular because I didn't go to work today. I had some minor repair work done to the house, so it was a perfect reason for me to sit at home all day. I loved every stinkin' minute of it and I obviously had plenty of time to sit around and think about things I don't get.

What is it you're not gettin' these days?

Easter, Peep Pies, and Such.

Hey friends. What's up? NMH. Remember that cleverness that used to be written in notes? NMH. Not much here. And we wouldn't write 'what's up'. It was 'wuz' with an arrow pointing up. How things have changed. To think that we used to have to hand write notes to our friends. Now we facebook or tweet or text or blog or do all four.

7888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888855555555 (That little message was from the kitty). She just decided to jump up on the keyboard. I thought instead of deleting it, I'd just roll with it. She's a cat that obviously has something to share with all of you. Thought provoking.
I hope that everyone had a fabulous Easter filled with bunnies and chicks and chocolate and family time. I know I sure did. Easter is one of my favoritest of favorites. It's a glorious day. I get to celebrate my man JC and reflect on his goodness and I get a basket full of candy. Easter candy is the best. It beats out Halloween and Christmas and Valentine's candy. It blows their candy selections to smithereens. Here are my top 5 favorites. Deliciousness. If you all haven't already figured this out about me, I'm a gluttonous girl. Plain and simple. That's the deadly sin I'm most guilty of.

I also like Peeps. They are a staple in our Easter baskets each year. I don't like them so much for eating. I like them for Peep Pie making, of course. Peep Pies have been made around my homestead for many a year now. You might find yourself asking, "Self? What is this Peep Pie that Sarah is speaking of?" Don't worry your pretty head. I will share the art of Peep Pie making with you.

One Easter, we thought, hey, it would be a pretty genius idea to put these Peeps in the microwave. So, we did. I don't really remember why we decided to microwave them. I think that's back when we were going through a phase. A 'let's put this in the microwave and see what happens' phase. Yes. It was a dangerous period in our lives. However, the result of microwaving Peeps wasn't dangerous at all. It was pure glory. We watched these little marshmallow chicks expand and grow 3+ times their size. Amazement.

There they blow!

Making a Peep Pie is simple. I'll provide you with the recipe. Simply remove Peeps from the packaging. Arrange them on a plate. You get to choose the plate size and number of Peep chicklets. That's part of the fun. You can make a mini pie for a party of one or a jumbo pie for a family feast. Put those little suckers in the microwave. Rev it up and blast 'em for about 30 seconds.

Enjoy.

 We all love Peep Pies. Even Daisy.

Tasty.

Here are some lovely Easter pictures of the family.

In other Easter day news, we found a baby turtle in our pool today. Of course I've kept him as my pet of the day. I've already given him a couple of names. Tuck, as in Tuck the turtle from the WonderPets, but my favorite name is Turdally. Turd + totally. It just sounds like a turtle kinda name. I considered keeping the little guy to take to my classroom because my kids would completely love this little green shelled reptile. I did some research about keeping turtles as pets and I think I've changed my mind. 40 gallon tank? I thought my little bowl would be just fine. Guess not. Here's some pictures of Tuck/Turdally.

The little kid was so scared and hiding in his shell home.

My, what a lovely shell you have, Turdally.

Here he is in his new bowl home. It's no 40 gallon tank, but it worked in a pinch and he seems quite fond of his rock.

"I like turtles."-Zombie kid.

Everyone had a great Easter. Even Daisy enjoyed some lovely Easter treats. She looks so majestic starring off in the distance while a dog bone is perched upon her paws.

One more thing and then I'm going to let you kids go. Don't be sad though, because I'm working on another post about a weekend event and I'm hoping to publish tomorrow. It just depends on whose computer I can borrow.
So, I've been watching some AFV (America's Funniest Home Videos for those that are lame and don't know). You know what drives me crazy about that show? After a video clip plays and they show the audience members and they zoom in on that doofus that is really cracking up. I mean really cracking up. Harder than they've probably ever laughed before. I mean, sure I chuckled at that video. Maybe I even laughed a little hardish if it was someone falling and busting it. But maybe we weren't just watching the same video. It was not that funny. It didn't cause me to double over like you and hold my sides and then wipe tears from my eyes. I wonder if the production crew bribes audience members. "I'll give you ten bucks if you promise to double over with extreme laughter after we play this video. We're going to zoom in on you and you better laugh. Hard." I bet that's what they do. Let's hope there's at least some bribery with cash bonuses going on because if not then these people need to get a life. A life where they are exposed to more humor.

You know what else on tv drives me nuts? When Oprah has a musical guest on her show doing a live performance and Oprah tries to sing along with their song. How does she not EVER know the words? That camera zooms right up in her mug every time someone is on her show singing. You'd think she'd get with it and study up on the lyrics. I mean, sure, we all do an Oprah sing-along from time to time. You know how it is. You're riding in the car with your friends and a song comes on that you like and you're trying to sing along but then you screw it all up and say the wrong words or do a little premature lyrical action and start singing before the singer does. At least I'm not being filmed for millions to watch me do my screw-ups though. I just shake my head every time Oprah has a singer on her show because I know she's going to bomb it.

Alright, later kids. I've missed you all so much. It's been way too long since I've posted. Almost a whole week! I don't like that, but like I said, another post is in the warming tray, so don't fret, dear ones. Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite...Ew. Gross.

Don't Hate Me Cause I'm Beautiful.

I've had Pretty Girl Rock in my head non-stop since Saturday afternoon. It has been playing on repeat in my brain. Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful, friends.

Listen below and then maybe you'll have it stuck in your head with me.

Check out this shirt that I just bought tonight. I saw it at Old Navy in the clearance section for a mere $5.00. It had to be mine. I love dumb t-shirts. The shirt proclaims a true statement, because I do love Jake Ryan. Sixteen Candles is such a great movie. 

80s movies. Sigh. I love 'em.

What's your favorite 80s movie? Mine is The Breakfast Club. Hands down.
I would totally date John Bender.

In animal news, Daisy and Kitty are kinda becoming friends. Slowly. Really they just both want a piece of me. They can't get enough. To do so, they just both have to get as close to me as possible. This is the result. Snuggling up on my tummy. It's a fluffy place to lay ones head.

 Lots of extra fluff goin' on there.

Sweet picture, huh? Kitty, Daisy, and Jake Ryan's face. The gang's all here.

Check out this picture below. Ashley took this one. I love it. She looks extra special with her tongue all out.

Aw. My sweet, sweet child.

I really have absolutely nothing of substance to write about. Who am I kidding. When do I ever have anything of substance to write about? 

I did absolutely nothing yesterday. I sat on my couch and waited for a premiere of a Lifetime Movie. Seriously. Oh, and I also read quite a bit of Something Borrowed. I'm really enjoying it. I am straight up Rachel. I see so much of myself in that character. It's a bit scary.

Nothing at all blog-worthy happened today, but I'm going to ramble on anyways. I went to school. It was an average day. No funny incidents. Well, one thing was kinda funny to me. I have a Corgi calendar hanging up on the bulletin board beside my desk. The calendar is still showing March. I guess that shows I don't look at that calendar much. A student was at my desk talking to me and she looked up at the calendar and said, "Gurrrrrl! You need to change that calendar!"

I love that I have students that feel comfortable enough to talk to me like that and say anything.

I went to the mall after school. Exchanged the sweater that had the security tag on the butt. Left with a replacement sweater (minus the security tag) and a Jake Ryan shirt. Daisy and I drove out to my parents to hang out with the family, minus Dad. That man is in Vegas right now. I'm jealous. Mom cooked dinner for me and I love her for it. After dinner we went out and dumped 80 pounds of pool salt in the pool. Gots to get it clear. Really, I was eager to help with that because salt=clear water and clear water=swimming time will be here sooner. I am soooooooo ready to get my swim on. Yay for warmness. You go on and do your thing, big ball of burning gas in the sky. Get that water warm.

We have seven weeks of school left until summer break. 32 school days. I'm starting to wonder if I'm going to make it. I've hit a wall of sorts. Spring fever or something similar. You'd think I would have come back from spring break refreshed, but just the opposite. Having a week at home just made me crave summer extra hard. It's bad when I wish my life away, but I'm just ready for June already.

Bring it.

I Met Someone Famous Today.

I'm babysitting and taking advantage of having access to a working computer while the child sleeps. Blog time! It's kind of a long post, but you all can handle it.

Remember that field trip I mentioned in my last post? Well, I've been trying to forget that field trip. We took all kindergarten and first graders from our school to a Book Festival that we are having in town this weekend. Friday was children's day featuring children's authors. I did this field trip with my very first class five years ago and it was a great experience--one of my very favorite field trips. This one, however, was not as great. There were over 1500 kids there. In a small convention center. We had to have been breaking Fire Marshall codes. I compared my day to being in the Serengeti in the midst of a wildebeest stampede. That was the day. Crazy and chaotic. Hallways filled with seas of children. Me constantly counting my brood to make sure one had not been whisked away with another class of crazies. My kids were great though. I couldn't have asked for better behavior from them and praise God from whom all blessings flow, I didn't lose one of them. As soon as school was out yesterday, I only had one thing on the brain. Margaritas. I partook of several. Ashley and I went directly after school and ordered a pitcher. It was the perfect remedy. It helped to numb my mind to match the rest of my already numb body from being trampled by the wildebeests all day.
Afterwards we walked down the shopping center and there was some fun shoe shopping to be had. If I'm being honest, it wasn't exactly shoe "shopping" for me, but more of "let me try on these fugly shoes so that I can laugh at myself". Check out these little gems.
The first pair that I knew I had to try on was a patriotic pair of shoes. They were appropriately named "Liberty". I don't know about you guys, but they sure made me want to bust out with America the Beautiful. Don't you just love 'em?

The next little pair of love was this sandal. A little fray action going on. It's like wearing a hula skirt on your foot. Feet should not hula. I don't care if this shoe says Kate Spade on the inside. It's still horrid. Shame on you, Kate Spade.

And pardon my funky feet. They had been cooped up in socks and tennis shoes all day. And I was in a stampede too, remember? They were possibly swollen.

The last pair is this heeled number. This one has it all, ladies. Rhinestones, gold glitter, and animal print. That jeweled piece across the top was huge.

Sad times for this person that I was parked beside. I bet that causes quite a racket hitting against the side of their car when they pick up speed driving down the interstate.

Look at this little friend that was hanging out in the parking lot. It's rained here so much that parking lots are filled with miniature ponds and are obviously now attracting ducks.

What the heck is on this mannequin that I saw at Macy's? Ew. No need to be dressed for an Outback adventure. And what's up with all the mannequins pairing socks with heeled sandals right now? That majorly concerns me. Please don't start doing this, friends. Even if it's suddenly considered cool or fashionable or stylish. Somethings just don't ever need to happen. Like this whole mess.

This morning I went back to the Book Festival, without my students in tow. Only adults were in the building and it was calm and quiet and peaceful. Ahhhh. Much more like it.

I met this man today. Nicholas Sparks. A rockstar of the book world.

My mom and I went to a breakfast with Nicholas Sparks along with a small crowd of people. We were served breakfast, received a hardback copy of The Lucky One and had an opportunity to take pictures and meet him. He signed the free copy of The Lucky One for everyone, but I'm not everyone. I'm a brat. My life motto has always been: Brats always get their way. It's true. 99.3% of the time. My Dad picked Nicholas Sparks up from the hotel, so Dad had him sign some extra books. I wanted A Bend in the Road signed because it's my favorite that he wrote. I liked it because it was a great story, but also for the fact that the characters name is Sarah and she's a teacher. It's probably really about me. I couldn't get him to admit that, but, he was probably just embarrassed to say so. I'm pretty happy that my favorite book by him is now an autographed copy. Way to go, Dad.

After the breakfast, we went and joined a huge group for his big talk. This room was filled to the brim with women. There were maybe 10 men in the whole place. You could just feel the estrogen flowing. Every woman in that room had glitter in their eyeballs and drool in the corners of their mouths.

He was quite delightful. A treat for both the eyes and ears. He was a very nice man and threw in the perfect amount of humor. I like a person that can make me laugh. It's obvious as to why he's such a successful author. He is truly a great storyteller. He was very interesting and kept my attention for his hour and 20 minute talk. Keeping me entertained and still for that long isn't always an easy thing to do.

Meeting him and listening to his talk definitely helped to change the raunchy mood that I was in early this morning. I woke up in a fine mood, but a wardrobe malfunction quickly changed my mood while I was getting ready. I had my outfit planned and was completely finished getting dressed. I looked in the mirror and that's when I noticed something hanging near my backside.

Uh huh. A stupid security sensor. Why does this stuff always happen to me? I would have looked nice wearing this to meet Nicholas Sparks.

I knew I wouldn't be able to get it off, but I fiddled with it for a minute hoping I could will it off because I was completely dressed and ready to go and I really wanted to wear this today. Picking out an outfit is no easy task for my indecisive self, so I was angry. Of course my fiddling caused a small hole to form around the sensor, which quickly became a bigger hole because the material was so delicate and it quickly began unraveling. Oops. I'm taking my butt back to the store to tell them about themselves and they better plan on letting me exchange the sweater. It was their fault for not removing the sensor in the first place...I mean, I didn't make the hole, the sensor did, right?...That's going to be my story anyway.

I hope all of you are enjoying your weekend so far. Cherish what's left of it!

I think I'll move to Australia.

What a dumb and poopy week. I'm kinda complainy and I really shouldn't be. I'm in a rut. A complaining rut. Does that happen to you all? I know that I have so much to be thankful for. I have my health, and a job, and family and friends that love me and help me in so many ways. But it's just been one of those weeks, you know? Things haven't quite gone my way. Things have broken. Life has been expensive lately. Bad bouts of luck and annoyances have reigned supreme.

It's the perfect time for some randoms...

I'm taking my class on our first field trip of the year tomorrow. We're going to a Book Festival to see some children's authors and illustrators. One of the authors we'll be seeing is Judith Viorst, author of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. I feel much like Alexander, except my title is Sarah and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week or maybe month or maybe year.
I loved this book when I was little. My mom will tell you I loved it for the fact that Alexander would say, "I think I'll move to Australia". He figured all of his bad luck would disappear if he moved there. Maybe mine would too. I've always had a great love affair with that continent.

I know you all are beyond sick of hearing me complain about my computer, but I miss it so hard, y'all. This has completely rocked my world. I'm lost without it. I can't get over it. This has made me realize that I had a computer addiction. Seriously. Me, Daisy, and my MacBook. The Three Musketeers. Sigh. We will be reunited in a couple weeks and that will be one of the most joyous days of my life. I'll probably skip out of the store with it when I finally get him back. This whole thing has made me extra appreciative of my work computer this week. I've all but hugged the thing and I stare at it longingly while I'm at school. I'm even staying late at school right now just so I can publish this here blog. I love you, computer and keyboard. I love you so much.

I don't know why my neighbors like to switch trashcans and swipe mine. This has happened several times through the past few years and it happened again yesterday. We have two very distinct looking trashcans. I like mine better. Obviously they do too. They beat me to the curb after this past trash day and they swiped my can. Get ready, neighbors because it's on next week. I'll be ready and plotting my way to regain my rightful trashcan once again. I don't get why they take my trashcan. I know they're old and the senses might not be as keen as they once were, but come on. They can tell it's not theirs. And while this may seem like something that doesn't matter, you're wrong, friends. It matters. Don't mess with Sarah's stuff.

You want to hear something cool? My bank account, Mom's, and Dad's all got compromised. All 3 of us. Some how all of our debit card numbers were stolen on the same weekend. Who does this happen to? My family. We're much like The Griswold's. I'm dead serious. If you don't know who The Griswold's are then I'm pretty sure we wouldn't make good friends.
This whole thing has been a mess. You don't realize how much you rely on your card until you suddenly aren't able to use it. I'm currently waiting not so patiently on a new card in the mail. It can't get here fast enough.
Luckily the bank stopped any charges from happening against my account. My parents weren't so lucky. Someone spent around $200 of Dad's money, but Mom was the real winner. Some very horrible person spent a big $1000 smackers snatching up items at Toys R Us, Hat World and Foot Locker. Hmm. Those purchases weren't suspicious at all. Mom is a frequent Hat World and Foot Locker customer. She's always sporting the nicest fitted hats and latest high top sneakers. Total sarcasm for those that don't follow. My Mom isn't G.

Something extra scary happened to me yesterday. I was a sideshow with Ronald McDonald. Yes. It was as scary as it sounds. He came to our school to do a program for our kindergarten-2nd graders. I was the lucky teacher that participated in his show. I must always give off a "sucker" vibe. In a crowd of people, I'll be the one that is singled out and chosen to do something dumb. Luckily Ashley was there to capture some pictures with my phone.

I look totally thrilled don't I?

This picture is blurry but it makes me chuckle a little on the inside. We're both doing the same thing. Creeptastic.

I'm not going to lie. I was a little scared up there. Not of being in front of a crowd but of that creepy freak of a clown. Sorry Ronald. I wasn't lovin' it. After my participation he gave me a certificate. I would have rather had a coupon for a free cheeseburger. Ronald, of all clowns, should be able to hook a teacher up.

This Extreme Couponing show is beyond craziness. Have you all been watching it? I'm appalled and amazed all at the same time. It's amazing that they get out of the store with $1000 worth of groceries and only pay something crazy like $6.36. I go in the grocery and come out with two bags filled with nutritious foods such as ice cream and chips and spend $50. These people would shake their heads in disgust at me. I have no couponing game. I've never even used one. Maybe I should start. We have some coupon clubs here in town. I could definitely use some tips to save some benjamins, baby. I wouldn't want to be a freak about it though.
The appalling part is that some of these people are stockpile hoarders. Why do you need 70 boxes of cereal? Do their boxes of cereal not ever expire? I don't get it. One family bought 62 bottles of mustard. Why? Unless you're hosting Hot Dog Fest 2011, there is absolutely no reason to have 62 bottles sitting around your house. You shouldn't have 62 bottles of anything hanging around your house. Unless it's wine or something harder and then that would be okay.

I say this on my About Me page, and it's the God's honest truth, y'all. I truly live with my foot in my mouth. No week goes by without me talking about someone or something and then turning around to find the person I'm talking about be right behind me. It happened to me twice yesterday. You'd think I'd learn. I never will.

Check ya later, kids. I like you all so much.

"He is P-I-S-E-D." "Pised?"

I've never really used my blog as a place to air my dirty laundry or talk about people in my personal life in a negative way. However, the time has come, dear ones. This is my corner of the world and I can say what I want here because I make the rules. Freedom of speech is truly a beautiful thing. I need to fuss about something for just a bit and get it out because I'm done with letting it eat at my mind. Lord only knows what ridiculous things have been said about me lately by the person this is involving, so I don't feel bad about speaking my mind now in my space. I'm sorry in advance for this post o'drama. This really isn't my style. You all know this. I prefer keepin' it light and fun, but sometimes life gets messy and stankin'. Let's bring on the big ole smelly bucket of poo.
I think you'll agree with me in the end in how truly silly this all is. Enjoy.

If I know that someone is upset with me, I always do a little self reflection. I try and see things from that person's perspective and see if he/she has a valid point. I don't like knowing that someone is upset with me. If I see that I'm in the wrong, I apologize, of course. I never mean to intentionally hurt someone. If I do, I make sure that I'm more sensitive in the future.

...BUT...

What if you've done that self reflection and realize you're dealing with something a bit irrational. What if you're not in the wrong? What if you've truly done absolutely nothing?

I currently have someone that is upset with me. "Pissed" as this person put it. Are you ready to find out what I did to make someone so mad at me? I really am a horrible person, I guess...

Remember that little kitty we just adopted from the Humane Society? Yes. That cat is the root of the pissy feelings toward me. You read it right. Someone is currently pissed at me because my mom adopted a cat. I feel like I should insert some cricket noises here or have a dj scratch the music and make it awkward.

I was told that I was "rude and tacky". I was also told, "You all adopting that cat was not about providing a home for a stray. It was about self-gratification. That's why I'm pissed."
Um...
Finally, this person told me, "I hope that cat is psycho and hurts someone". WOW. Unstable much?

I was also defriended by this person on Facebook because of all this malarky. He also defriended my mom and another friend.

Let me shed a little background on why this person is pissed with me. This person currently has two cats. He needs to find a new home for them due to recently finding out (by recent, that means he's already known a couple months) that his child is allergic to the cats.
Never did I say I would take in these cats as my own. I have no idea why in this person's mind he thought I would be the solution to the problem. It is not my responsibility to find a home for his cats. It is not my mom's responsibility to take in these cats. Never did this person speak to my mom about taking his cats. We have the right to get a cat if we so choose and should not feel obligated to take someone else's cat(s) off their hands. We may have wanted a cat and it just so happened to not be one of his. Is this heartless? I don't think so. I'm sorry his cats need a home but so do thousands of other cats. And sorry if we got a cat that we had a connection with. Plus, I like ours better than his. Is that bitchy? Who cares. He deserves that much of my attitude. If I'm going to care for an animal, I want one that I love and one that loves me a bit in return. Isn't that what it's all about?

I'm sorry about his situation but it's not my problem. Bottom line is that he wanted to make his problem my problem and his responsibility my responsibility.

I am not a parent, but if I had a child who couldn't stay with me due to the fact that his allergies to my pets were so bad, I would get rid of my animals as quickly as possible. I would find some kind of arrangement for them. There are options. I am not the only option. I am not a free animal clinic to all the needy animal friends. Sorry. As much as I love all animals and my own animals, a child would have to come first.

My mind is still slightly blown to the fact that someone is seriously pissed at me over something this trivial and, well, just plain silly. If the worst thing I'm going to do in life is adopt a cat (by association) and have someone mad at me for it, then I guess I'm okay with the way I'm living.

"If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?"  ~Sydney J. Harris

If you're gonna be mad at me over something like this, well, then you're a wee little man boy in my mind.

Go Shawty, It Was My Burfday. I Partied Like It Was My Burfday.

I miss the blogging world! I feel so out of the loop since I don't have a computer. Update on all that biznass: the hard drive did crash. The guy doesn't know if he can recover anything and said I may be without my computer for a few weeks. What the what? A few weeks!? I'm going to die. It looks like I may have some pretty boring posts for awhile. Big sigh. Blogging from an iPad is just not the same and takes 52 million years. So, bear with me, friends.

Let me just share this good news right quick. It was 89 degrees today. We're having August weather in April and it's glorious.

Yesterday was my birthday. 28. Yeesh. That sounds so old but I still feel like I'm 12. I still kind of look like I'm 12 too, so I guess it works out. I had a pretty great day. For starts, I was off school since it's spring break, so that was pretty spectacular. I slept in (as I did every single day this week) and washed a load of clothes in my brand new washing machine that Dad bought me for my birthday. It's a pretty fun little machine. It plays a little electronic diddy when you turn it on. I like things that will play a diddy for me.

That afternoon, Mom took me to get a pedicure. Pedicures are such delightful treats for the feetsies. I always forget how ticklish the bottoms of my feet are. When they get out the little foot scrubber and get at the roughness, I always laugh and have a hard time controlling myself. I almost kicked the lady in the nose. She was a little scared of me after that. She said, "You're not going to bloody my nose, are you?"
Um, and have you all ever had the pedicurist bust out a razor on your feet? Well, it happened to me for the first time. I take a razor to my own toes because I don't like being hairy anywhere. If I could be picked up by the hairs of my head and dipped into a big pool of hot wax to remove all body hair, I would so do it. I guess the lady saw some little prickly pears on my toes so she shaved me. It was definitely a first, but whatever, woman. Shave away. I was going to feel bad about myself if she started shaving my legs though. I was starting to worry that maybe I'd missed some patches.

I got OPI Strawberry Margarita on my very hairless toes.

After my pedicure, I went to a little shop that we have downtown called Zingarella's. It's full of cute stuff. I bought this pair of earrings. They're cute little owls with blingy eyeballs. I like them. Lots.

Last night my two bestest buddies, Ashley and Erica, came over for a sleepover. Sleepovers are just as much fun at age 28 as they were at age 8. I love my friends. I'm a lucky lady. We talked about people, ate, had some beverages, talked about people, watched The Sweetest Thing, talked about people, watched Mean Girls, and crashed. Then we woke up and ate pepperoni and cheese cubes for breakfast. All in all, a perfect birthday and I'm glad I was able to spend it with them.
And look at this poster that Ashley got me while she was in Houston. If you know me and my geek side, you know how much I love it.

And, one of my best presents of all was reading THIS very great post that Ashley wrote about yours truly. It's probably the best blog post of all time. She's a sweet, sweet lover.

I am going to savor what little bit of weekend I have left. It's going to be another beautiful day in the Bluegrass tomorrow. Yip E.

Breathe and Reboot.

I'm a bit frazzled at the moment. I might have had a meltdown or two. I can relate to Carrie Bradshaw right now, specifically Episode 56--"My Motherboard, Myself". I came home this evening and got on my MacBook. This is usually one of the first things that I do when I walk in the door. I'm in a relationship with my computer. We're in love.
Mr. Mac was acting a little funny so I restarted him. It came back on as a gray screen with a flashing folder with a question mark. Wahhhhhh! Has anyone had this happen before? I called my Mom because she is also a fellow Mac lover. She said, "You didn't get the bomb did you? Because that wouldn't be good." Luckily, I did not get the bomb like Carrie did. No sad Mac, but I sure am a sad Mac.
Like Carrie and I'm sure all of you, my whole life is on my computer. And had I backed anything up in a long time? That would be a big NO. Not good. You best believe I'm heading to our Mac store when they open tomorrow. I have to get him fixed. The hard drive should still be under warranty, so hopefully it will be all good in the hood. Let's hope. I can't be without the computer. iPhone and iPad just don't cut it.
Go backup, ladies! Now!

“After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is breathe and reboot.” -Carrie Bradshaw

I'm breathing...

Yes sir e Bob.

Man. That championship game was beyond boring. I felt like I was watching a Jr. high basketball game. The blog was calling my name, so here I am, friends. I know you're so happy. Probably as happy as you'd be if you saw a unicorn frolic across a field of wildflowers sprinkled with dewdrops.

Okay, I just saw the Gas-X commercial and it's one of my very favorites. They've been playing that same commercial for years and I hope it never retires into the commercial vault because it is timeless and spectacular. My favorite line is, "Your son Rip is on line toot." I wish I could have been the genius behind writing that line.

It was pretty stormy here around lunch time today. Our tornado sirens went off twice. Our weather man said we might want to grab a bicycle or football helmet to wear for protection. Is he for real? Yes. He absolutely is. In pretty much the same breath, he also said, "It's getting bad out there. Yes sir e Bob". I just sat on my couch shaking my helmet-less head.

So I saw this little thing in a shop yesterday. Inappropriate, yes. Exactly why I had to take a picture of it and share it with you. You're welcome.

I like the smell of leather. I'm telling you this because I can smell this new belt of mine. It's silver and it's beautiful and it can be found at an Old Navy store near you.

I have a bit of a smell obsession. I love to sniff things. Not sniffing or huffing things as in powdery drugs or spray paint or Sharpies or household cleaners. No, no. I keep it safe, kids. No inhalant abuse going on over here. I just like smells. Usually odd smells like new plastic toys or when the air conditioner in a car first comes on or a skunk. Delicious smells like that. Ahh.

And since I like shopping so, let me share a couple more things that I recently bought with you. It was all on sale. I like sale.

One can never have enough shoes.

I got this dainty little scarf for $3.49. Score.

That's about all I feel like uploading pictures of. I hope you enjoyed that brief shopping extravaganza.

Day one of spring break week is officially winding down. It has been a pretty glorious day. I lounged around and napped in between the storms that we had. It was not a day for going out, so I took full advantage of being trapped indoors. I didn't even put a bra on until a few hours ago. And that was only so I could run to the MacDonald's (shout out to my Granny D!) to get supper, which consisted of a hot fudge sundae and fries. I'm a pretty health conscious person.

Tomorrow is the day that we pick up our new furry feline friend! Everyone throw your paws up in the air and say "meow" like you just don't care.

Oh yes, if you're an intermediate teacher, you must check out my bloggy friend, Katie's giveaway. She made a cute unit that she's giving away to 3 lucky people. Her giveaway ends tomorrow, so step lively, friends, and head on over to her blog to check it out.

I will leave you with a couple of quotes that I'm fancying right now:

"When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already better than them." ~Marilyn Monroe

"Take chances, take a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up, and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are. You learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. Say how you feel, always. Be you, and be okay with it." ~Unknown

Word to your mom. Bye now, Friends.

Three Cheers for Spring Break.

Today was a beautiful day in the Bluegrass State. A very lovely 85 degrees--way warmer than I thought it was going to be today. One thing you should know about my family is that we're all food lovers. No distance is too far to travel to get your gut filled with something good. My family will drive the distance for good food and today was the perfect day to do just that. My Dad voted on heading over to the Land Between the Lakes area to go to Patti's, which is a good two hour drive. We hadn't been there since October, so we were long overdue for that good eatin' experience. We conquered our flowerpot bread (4 pots o' bread to be exact) and our giant pork chops like the food eating champions that we are. It was delectable as always.

Cold dranks are always better in a jar. "Ahh! What's it to ya?"

And since I'd rather have a birthday pie than a birthday cake, we bought a whole one to go. A whole pie is $10.99. One slice is $6. Um. I'll take the whole pie. Duh. 

These pies are a magical fantasy. They whip that meringue 7 inches high! Bonzai.

After we ate we visited the animal friends scattered across the grounds. This little Peter Cottontail is ready for Easter. So am I, my little fluffy tailed friend.

Me on the pink tractor.

Inside the pink tractor shop, I bought a beautiful little pink lace scarf that was 75% off. I love a good sale about as much as I love food. I was already wearing a pink scarf today (as seen above on the tractor), but switched to my new pink scarf because, well, it was new.

I almost bought myself some flip flops because my feet were hot. I hate wearing socks on hot days. Gross. It's just been so chilly here lately that this summer heat wave kinda caught me off guard, but I'll take the sweaty and swollen feet if it means we have some hot fireball star in the sky time.

We shopped a little bit more and even spent a little bit of time playing on a seesaw. Yes, our day was beyond random, but that's how I love it. It was so much fun--until my sister fell off her end of the seesaw when she was high up in the air. She hit the ground with a thud and I thought for sure she broke her arm. She has a pretty righteous bruise. End of see-saw fun times. It turns out her end of the board had a bit of a gangsta lean to the right. That paired with my roughness...well, maybe I'm not the best seesaw partner.

After that fun we drove down to hang out by the lake for a bit. Who knew I'd find more shells down by the lake than I ever do when I go to Florida. I also found a bone. It's probably from a dinosaur. I should be a paleontologist.

We also saw pelicans. They're very interesting and scary looking birds with their pterodactyl-like appearance.

It was just a teensy bit windy today.

I really look like I'm pondering life, don't I? This picture is so deep. It also looks like I just have one leg.

Good day. Full belly. Perfect springy weather and it's the kickoff to my Spring Break and Birthday week. Yeah. I do the week long birthday celebration. I'm that girl, but you probably expected as much from me.