Can You Smell What Sarah is Cooking? A Big Pot of Random.

My nerves have been grinded all day. I've had to listen to one of my students bark cough all stinkin' day long. The cough sounds like a seal that did hard drugs. His cough is my least favorite sound in this world. Worse than nails on a chalkboard. Is that expression even used anymore? Since there aren't any chalkboards...

There are two movies that I want to see. The first is Disney's Prom. Yeah. I'm 12. I really think I'll love the movie. I'll probably feel the urge to stand up or clap at some point during the movie. I also want to see Bridesmaids. It looks fun and dumb. Winning movie qualities in my book.

I've tried to act like I don't really care about the Royal Wedding. In reality, I've watched the William and Kate movie on Lifetime three times. Three. You can't really pretend like you don't care about it if you've watched that movie that many times. I've watched TLC the past two nights while they've done a countdown to the wedding with royal family facts. Did you know that Diana was a kindergarten assistant for two years before she got married? Fascinating. So I'm admitting it now loud and proud. I care. I do.

Tomorrow is going to be a big day. The Royal Wedding and a space shuttle launch. So much to watch. I almost can't take it. You best believe my class and I will be tuning in to watch the blast off action.

I've been fascinated by my little turtle friend. He's been staying at school this week and my kids have enjoyed watching him. I've spent a lot of time just starring at him. The turtle probably thinks I'm creepy. I don't know how many of you have studied a turtle, but there is something very interesting about their heads. They have all this extra skin on their neck to allow for it going into their shells and such. It just looks a little too much like an uncircumcised buddy to me. Today I couldn't take it anymore and I had to share my thoughts with someone. I can't share my thoughts with my five year olds, so my poor Assistant is always left being the recipient of my thoughts (which, like my posts, are ALL over the place), my stupid comments, and jokes. I asked her to come back and look at the turtle head. I shared with her my thoughts. She said, "Yep. The turtle has foreskin alright." Then she said, "Sarah, you need a boyfriend." And that's why we work together.

Today there were maggots turned itsy bitsy baby flies under one of our trees on our playground. I mean, really. A swarm of them all over the ground. We were trying to figure out what they were eating on. Whatever it was cylindrical in nature and log-like. My guess was a turd. A petrified turd. That's really what it looked like. I went in and told our Assistant Principal that the custodian probably needed to come out and pick up whatever it was. The flies needed to get on outta there and due to the over population of flies, birds were dive bombing the playground. It was quite a scene. The kids were intrigued. The teachers were horrified. Eventually all of the flies flew off. I went over to inspect this sure-to-be gross thing on the ground that they had been devouring. It was a root. As in an exposed root of the tree. Guess that explains the log-like appearance. Yeah. Needless to say I had to call back to the office and I told them to abort the mission. Since when do flies think tree roots are tasty?

One of my biggest life goals? That's easy. To have the wit and spunk of Sophia Patrillo when I'm old. She is one of my greatest TV heroes along with Dwight K. Schrute. Those two would make one heck of a team.

I'm so glad it's not storming tonight and that it is Friday Eve. I have definitely been working for the weekend. That will be the trend for the next five weeks. I can see the summer light!