And so it continues...

So, after school I was in the workroom making copies and a lady stops by and says, "Do you have anything else in your life besides school?" Um, harsh.

I'm a loser baby...

I'm aware that I'm a nerd. A bit of a loser. I know this about myself. It's when others point it out to me that it bothers me a little bit. Just let me be this way. Don't make me feel worse about it, okay? It's not that people actually say to face, "Oh my. You are such a nerd." or "What a loser!" No, no. Sometimes it's just written all over their face.

So, it's a Friday night...

Loser move #1: I stayed at school until 6:00. I don't have any kids to go home to. My dog is my kid. So, until I have the added responsibility of a family in my life, I feel that I can spend extra time at work and not feel guilty about it. I take pride in my work and really want to do a good job, so I just feel that I need to invest some extra time in it. That's just how I am. I know co-workers think I don't have a life, but that's okay. Just call me Cheryl.

Loser move #2: I met my parents for dinner at Garcia's. Garcia's, of course, is one of my favorite Friday night dinner spots. For some, eating out with the parents on a regular basis, which I do, would probably be a loser move. I have always enjoyed the company of my parents. I have fun being with them. Plus, if they invite me out to eat, I know I'm guaranteed a good and free dinner. For me, that's always a good thing.

Loser move #3: After dinner, I hopped in the car with them and went to run some "errands". We went to Target and I bought toilet paper. Awesome! We also went to Starbucks for a Pumpkin Spice Latte and then to Dad's office. Woohoo! There I scored a free Citizens First paper clip holder, a flash drive, and a calculator. Banks always have great free stuff. I was truly excited about my paper clip holder. It even came with dollar sign paper clips. Who wouldn't like that?

My parents took me back to my car and we went our separate ways. They went home; I went to Barnes & Noble. It's often a place for me to go when I'm not quite ready to go home yet and other stores have closed. I went with the intention to not buy any books, just to browse. Surprisingly, I passed up all of the fiction books and headed towards the back of the store. The back of the store=danger. Children's section! It's not a good idea for a kindergarten teacher to enter that territory. I actually didn't make it back there because the "Education" section directly before it caught my eye first. I sat down in the floor and made myself comfortable. I pulled out a couple of books on teaching students with Autism and started scanning the books. I was enjoying being by myself, in a quiet place, with a book. It was my idea of a nice end to a nice Friday night.
That all changed when a Natcher parent walked by the aisle and spotted me. I don't really even know this parent that well. She decided to stop and talk to me for some reason. Tonight was the longest conversation we had ever had. Usually it would be just a quick smile exchange or a "hi" when I would see her at school. She began asking me questions. Lots of them. "You're out alone on a Friday night? You're not out on a date!?! You're not dating anyone? Why are you not out on a date? You're sitting in the Education section? Why are you doing school work? It's a long weekend! You should be out having fun. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." She continued to bring the fact up that I wasn't out on a date. Yes, thank you for reminding me of that over and over. She also made some comment that she could be out by herself because she already had kids of her own. What!?! So, because she conquered finding a man and scored a couple of kids, she had done her duty and was entitled to be at a bookstore. Because I have not yet marked those items off my list, I should be out on a mission to find my husband so I could have some babies? Huh? I could feel my shoulders collapsing into myself. I was trying to keep a smile plastered across my face and nod politely, but really I just wanted for her to go away. To leave me alone. She was possibly trying to be friendly, probably just being nosy, but what she didn't realize is that she was actually just making me feel bad about myself. She then tells me she's at B&N with her friend, who is another Natcher parent. This parent I do know because I taught her kid a few years back. Great. This parent now shows up in the aisle. Here we go again. "I was just asking Ms. Marcum why she was sitting in the Education aisle on a Friday night! She's doing school work instead of going out and having fun..." The other parent that I knew better sat down in the aisle with me. Great. This means she's getting comfy. She must plan on staying for awhile. Just leave me alone!!!!! I was trying to be friendly and make polite conversation, but I just felt like crying. I rarely feel like crying.

After they finally said their goodbyes and left the aisle, I quickly put the books back on the shelf and left the store. I let their comments ruin my night. I was there to be by myself and get lost in some books for awhile, and that didn't happen. I was bothered by what they said and just wanted to go home. As I was driving home, I was reflecting on why their comments bothered me so much. Am I overly sensitive--more so than I thought? Do I just not like people I don't know well to ask me a lot of questions since I'm a private person? Do I still have some "sore spots" in my life?

It may not have so much been their comments/questions, but the way that they asked/said what they did. I just felt like I was being judged in a way. To me, they were really saying, "Wow. You really are a loser, Ms. Marcum. You're sitting in the floor at Barnes & Noble at 9:30 on a Friday night with your Natcher t-shirt on and you're all by YOURSELF! You must not have any friends. You're not even looking at a book for fun. You're reading school books! You will never find a date if you live your life like this! Hahahaha!"

I'm often baffled that people seem to be concerned that I'm alone. I have never had a problem with going places by myself. I live by myself and I'm capable of doing things by myself. While I greatly enjoy the company of others, sometimes others aren't available to do things. That shouldn't stop me from going out and doing things. If there is something I want to do, I will go do it. With or without someone. If that makes me a loser, then I'm a loser.

People are also concerned that I don't date. Sure, it would be great to have been on a date tonight, but I wasn't. I was at Barnes and Noble by myself. To me, that's an okay way to spend my Friday night. Why was that not okay to this lady? Why did she feel that I needed to be out on a date with someone? When others show concern over me being dateless it makes me begin to worry too. It makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me. It makes me wonder if I will ever find someone. I hate feeling that way and I don't ever have those thoughts until someone begins to question me to make me have doubts.
They probably have theories now that I'm not only a loser, but also a lesbian. By the way; I'm not. I promise. I'm okay with where I'm at in my life. I wish everyone else would be okay with it too. Don't feel sorry for me for what I don't have. Be happy for what I do have. My time will come. I am being patient and am fine with waiting. If that makes me a loser, then I'm a loser.

Also, why did it concern them so much that I was in the education section? Education is my career. It's also a hobby. I enjoy it. I enjoy learning more about it. I love doing research and finding out new things. The day that I stop doing that is the day that I need to have a career change. I like looking at professional and reference books. I like doing a google search for kindergarten websites for ideas to use in my own classroom. If that makes me a loser, then I'm a loser.

This was a hard blog for me to write. I'm still kind of surprised with myself that this lady bothered me as much as she did. I guess I'm just tired of it. Tired of questions. Tired of remarks. Tired of looks. This is me. I don't feel that I should have to explain myself or feel guilty for doing what I want and like to do. I may be a loser in the eyes of some people, but if being a happy, successful, single woman sitting in the aisle at Barnes and Noble makes me a loser, then I'm proud to be a loser.

Oprah has her list of favorite things, so I can too

These are a few of my favorite things...

Smells- skunks, Daisy's paws (they smell like corn chips), the smell of the car a/c first coming on, coffee, the inside of Riley's Bakery, a new car, men, clean clothes, tea bags, matches, plastic (new toys opened from a package), gas fumes--Yeah, so I like some pretty strange smells...

Sounds- kid's laughter, rain, other people's conversations, Daisy's grunts

Non-Alcoholic Drink- Sweet Tea, Big Red, Coke, and Cherry Dr. Pepper

Alcoholic Drink- French Martini and Cape Cods

Things to do- Google, Blog, read, drive at night and listen to music (especially on Sunday nights to Back in the Day Sundays), snuggle with Daisy, clean, eat, make lists, write

Books- I am currently loving Laurie Notaro's books. I am on her 3rd book. Hilarious. I love children's books too.

Radio Station- 107.5 The River

Childhood Shows- Jem, G.I. Joe, TMNT, Care Bears, My Little Pony, Rainbow Brite, Today's Special, Gummi Bears, Mr. Rogers, Sesame Street, Flintstone Kids, Fraggle Rock, Jetsons, Inspector Gadget, Punky Brewster, Lady Lovely Locks and the Pixietails, Moon Dreamers, The Noozles, Pound Puppies, Popples, Pinwheel, Muppet Babies, David the Gnome, Hugga Bunch, Zoobilee Zoo, She-Ra: Princess of Power, Transformers, Smurfs, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, Salute Your Shorts, You Can't Do That on Television, Hey Dude, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Doug, American Gladiators, Dumbo's Circus
*Can you tell I didn't watch much TV as a child?

TV Shows- The Office, Nip/Tuck, Golden Girls, Will & Grace, Jimmy Kimmel, The Hills, Samantha Who

Movies- The Breakfast Club, The Holiday, Napoleon Dynamite, Transformers, A Goofy Movie, Bring It On: All or Nothing, She's Too Young, The Sweetest Thing

Favorite TV Channels: Lifetime, HGTV, TLC, Discovery, Travel

Hand Soap- method Peppermint Vanilla

Shampoo- Bath & Body Works Tranquil Mint Volumizing Shampoo and Sunsilk products (I love the sayings on the bottles, like:"Blonde hair as dull as a virgin...daiquiri?")

Toothpaste-Crest Cavity Protection Regular Paste

Makeup- Bare Escentuals

Deodorant- Dove (Powder scent)

Lotion- Johnson's Creamy Baby Oil

Cleaning Product- Magic Erasers (Whoever invented these suckers--Kiss your brain!), Orange Oil is pretty great too

Number- 4

Colors- pink and black

Animals- koalas and river otters

Dog Breed- Pembroke Welsh Corgi (my Daisy Mae, of course)

City- Chicago

Trip- Wyoming. Wyoming was BEAUTIFUL and full of great memories, and I learned a lot about myself during this 13 day trip. It was right after my senior year of high school. I met a lot of great people who helped to push me out of my comfort zone. Las Vegas was an awesome trip too. Actually, I have enjoyed all of my trips. I'm always fortunate for the times that I get to travel. It seems to be so few and far between now-a-days!

Food- Mexican

Fast Food- Chick-fil-A, Zaxby's, Culvers, Linzie's, Griffs

Restaurants- Garcia's, Cheddars, Montana Grille, Longhorn, Cheesecake Factory, Olive Garden, Texas Roadhouse

Sweet Stuff- I love Pie! Chocolate Meringue and Pumpkin are my favorites. I also love ice cream, Riley's tea cookies, cheesecake, and caramel apples

Vegetables- asparagus, potatoes, broccoli, french-cut green beans

Fruits- apples and pineapple
Condiment- mustard

Candy- Love anything chocolate, but my faves are: Reese's, Mounds, Caramello

Celebrity Men- Johnny Depp, Paul Walker, Jimmy Kimmel, David Beckham, John Krasinski, Jason Lewis, Jack Black

Holiday- Hands-down Thanksgiving--for the food. My Birthday, Christmas and Easter are all tied for second place.

I'm in love with Monte

Monte Cristo that is. Cheddars just opened up in BG and it has been slammed all week. My family decided to brave the crowd and went there to eat tonight. I ordered the Monte Cristo sandwich. Let me just tell you--it was heaven in the form of a sandwich. I took the first bite and giggled, yes giggled like a girl in love. I was truly giddy over the deliciousness of this sandwich. Some sandwiches may claim to be Monte Cristo, but unless you've had one that is fried on the outside and sprinkled with powdered sugar, then you have not experienced a real Monte Cristo. It is basically a ham, turkey, and melted cheese sandwich with a funnel cake fried around it. Sounds wonderful, doesn't it? That's because it is. It makes you want to slap somebody. Hard. Of course I took a picture of this masterpiece. I am a very happy girl with a very happy tummy right now. Yum. E. :)

Take it off, take it all off

Oh, Hannah, Becca, and Dawn. Just some crazy 14 year olds with syphilis...

Do I have your attention? I thought so. My very favorite Lifetime made-for-TV movie is 2004's She's Too Young. Lifetime plays this movie quite frequently and each time it's on, you can pretty much bet your bottom dollar that I'm watching it. In my opinion, this is the BEST worst movie ever made. Everything about it is gloriously horrible. The acting, the exaggerated story line, the sad attempts at capturing current trends, the actors lines. Everything is so bad, which makes it highly entertaining. The tagline for the movie is "To fit in, you've gotta put out." No, seriously. I can't make this up.

Some of the best of the worst movie lines:

"It's just someting we do with boys...like dancing. " -Becca

This line is said at the most awkward moment possible with her friends: "Hey guys, I have syphilis." -Dawn

"Stick 'em all, because chances are I have." -Nick

Did you know?

So, I'm a freak and love googling and doing research. I found out that this movie was actually (and very sadly) based off of a true story. Um, wow. I didn't see that one coming. It almost makes me feel bad for enjoying this far-fetched (or so I thought) movie so much. Apparently, the story line is based off of a small town high school in Georgia. There were 15 year old girls that were having sex with 50+ partners and there was a syphilis epidemic at the school. Yowzers.

Below is a summary of the plot from All Movie Guide:

A syphilis outbreak rocks an upscale suburban high school in this made-for-cable movie. Freshman Hannah Vogul (Alexis Dziena) does everything her loving parents (Marcia Gay Harden and Gary Hudson) want: excels at music, makes good grades, and always tells the truth. That all changes when Hannah falls for the attentions of campus stud Nick Hartman (Mike Erwin). Supremely confident, the boy successfully pressures her to fellate him on their second date, then unsuccessfully invites her to an orgy for their third. Soon Dawn (Miriam McDonald), one of Nick's countless other conquests, confesses that she's contracted syphilis, which sets off an investigation by horrified public-health officials. When Hannah turns out to be one of dozens of infected students, her mother joins the crusade to bring their parents together and confront the underaged partying and casual sex that have led their children to this predicament. But with Hannah's self-esteem rocked by Nick's rejection and the ostracism of her peers, it may be too late to save her. She's Too Young premiered in February 2004 on the Lifetime cable network. Megan Park co-stars as Becca, another promiscuous 14-year-old, while Joe Dinicol appears as Hannah's supportive friend Tommy.

~ Brian J. Dillard, All Movie Guide

The movie sounds fabulous, doesn't it? Do yourself a favor and watch it. Chances are Lifetime will play it sometime within the next week. Trust me.

I'm Blogging a lot and I like it.

I have been blowing up my blog today and I like it. My blog is basically just me getting to talk to myself since no one reads these things anyway. I guess it's a little more normal for me to type out my thoughts and conversations going on in my head instead of vocalizing them to myself. Right? Many days I don't have much that I consider to be blog-worthy. Today I keep thinking of things I'd like to blog about. I've done several of them, but will save many for the days to come. So, stay tuned for more happy reading, Sarah.