Bachelor Business.

I'm going to write this post real quick-like before I head to bed. I'm exhausted. This has been one rough week so far. And my nights! My nights have been so full. I've had not one, but TWO nights in a row of Bachelor watching/live tweeting. I'm not allowed to text or tweet the rest of the night. Not until I get the feeling back in the tip of my index finger. It's numb from overuse.

Let's see. Where do we even start? I guess we'll start with Monday night.

The relay race/goat milking challenge:
First of all, one of the girls saw the goats and asked if they were dogs. I almost turned the TV off right then because I couldn't believe someone would say something so idiotic.

Second, is there a man I would chug goats milk for? No one. I can think of no one. Is there a man I would chug cows milk for? Again, no one.

Bruno Mars would catch a grenade, throw his hand on a blade, jump in front of a train, take a bullet through his brain for you, but I won't even drink milk for you.

Tierra sneaking onto the Blue and Red Team date:
My main question: Why was Tierra wearing one of the blue teams plaid shirts? Answer: She either stole a shirt from one of the girls dirty clothes piles or she slept with someone that worked for wardrobe on the show. I wouldn't put either scenario past her.

Tierra's forehead dent:
It's getting bigger. And angrier. I think it's growing teeth. Does she have to feed it at night? Her forehead is still my biggest concern.

Monday nights show was boring in comparison to tonight. So, onto bigger and more dramatic things: Tuesday!

I'm just going to list some of my random thoughts from tonight. Here we go.

That snow bus? Do I have any Canadian readers? Educate me on this snow bus! That thing is a monster. And I want to drive one.

Catherine said she hasn't had hot chocolate since she was 4. Where do they find these girls?

And Catherine's story was sad about how she lost her friend when she was 12 (I'm not downplaying that at all. I'm not a monster), but the way she was setting it up, I really thought it was going to end with her being raped or assaulted. Did any of you feel that way? No?

All of the dates this season have been horrible. Rock climbing? No. Polar Bear Plunge? Absolutely not. I would have kicked myself off the show.

I'm like Selma. I'm also a "warm-weather people".

Tierra really has been down and out with injuries three times. And Sean has fallen for it each and every time. He's got good people perception. Really good perception.

Two new words have been added to the English language thanks to this season. Tierrable and Tierrorist. A big thanks to all of Sean's girlfriends!

Tierra always says she deserves a rose. She was that student in school that felt she should be rewarded for complying and following general expectations. We all know what kind of student she was. A teacher's worst nightmare, that's what.

And Sarah's breakup? I felt so bad for her. Sean made it worse by breaking up with her in private and then making her walk back into the room full of girls to break the news to them. That's just embarrassing. Just do it the old-fashioned, "tactful" way, Sean, by not giving her a rose during the rose ceremony.

And let's talk about Sarah for a minute. I'm intrigued by her. She needs her own show. Maybe on TLC. I have so many questions for her. Like, how do you put on your ring? Does she use her teeth to do it? How does your hair and makeup look SO much better than mine ever will? And I am not making fun of her at all. I seriously want to know. I'm impressed with all that she can do. I have a very curious mind and have a collection of 574 questions ready to unload on her about living life with one arm.

Sean obviously likes a sad back story and an insecure and needy girl. But if you have one arm, that's not sad enough. He will dump you.

Sean took Desiree on a date in a tent. He finds out she used to live in a tent. That date just got a little awkward.

The most romantic words a woman could ever hope for a man to say: "I knew you six were the six for me." Oh, Sean. Swoon. I'm so glad you love me and your five other girlfriends.

I could go on and on and on and on. I'll stop. I hit some of the high points.

I will close with this. Like I said, Sean obviously loves a sad story. He'll give you a rose if you tell him one, or if you cry in front of him, or if you act unstable. The girls this season are pros. They all have a sob story this season. Growing up in a tent, a tree crushing your best friend, living with one arm, having a boyfriend that died, etc, etc, etc.
I've really been thinking of what my back story would be. Do I have one? Do I have a sob story? A moment in my life that defines why I am the way I am? I mean, there was one time I didn't get a My Little Pony I wanted...does that count?