Forgotten Leftovers, Snow Day, and The Bachelor Rehash.

You know what's really awful? Cleaning out the refrigerator. Especially when you come across a surprise. Something that was once delicious, but you forgot about it. It kept getting pushed to the back of the fridge. And it's no longer delicious. And it might smell really bad. You don't know because you're not going to open it up and smell it. Not on your life, buddy. And you'd rather throw away your tupperware or dish than to risk seeing it or smelling it for fear of barfing all over your kitchen.

It's also awful when you come across that surprise-something and you're too afraid to take care of it. So you go find your brother and tell him that it's time for him to "be a man" and go clean out the scary thing in the fridge. And if that doesn't work you resort to bribing. But you don't have to bribe because your brother loves you.

I just needed to get that off my mind.

So. What's new? Thanks for all the comments and suggestions about ways that I can fancy up my lunch routine. Lunch has gotten a little more exciting. I'm probably making all the other teachers so jealous in the lounge. I mean, nobody has come up and said anything about how delicious looking my new cuisines look. They're probably just embarrassed. I'm sure I'm causing a lot of jealous feelings, though.

I got my first snow day of the school year on Friday! Technically we didn't have snow. No snow at all. But we had ice. That'll work for me! I woke up at 4:30 Friday morning with as much excitement as a young child would have on Christmas morning. I assumed we'd be off school, but the official call hadn't been made yet. I turned on the local news station to watch our "Polar Report". I watched intently for my three favorite little words. My three favorite words are not "I love you" or "Sonic Happy Hour". No, no. My favorite three words are "Warren County Closed". That is the signal that I get a free ticket to stay home all day. My day off was a great day. It was a jam-packed day. I only got three naps in. I decided to shower for the day around 4:30 p.m. and then went to dinner. Taxing day. Just grueling.

I haven't blogged about our new season of The Bachelor yet. I need to talk about it with you guys. If you follow my Twitter feed, you've heard me talk about Sean and his Bad Girls Club. You've heard me talk about it too much. My favorite Monday activity is to watch The Bachelor and live tweet it. So fun.

Here are some of the high points:

Let's start with Selma's rock climbing adventure date.

The camera loves Selma, but not just the camera--the camera men also love Selma. That camera went down Selma's tank top, zoomed in on her yoga pants butt, and shot up her nostrils. I feel like we all know Selma. Really well. I was just relieved she didn't have any hanging boogers.
I feel like Sean's focus throughout the whole show was of Selma. In her yoga pants. Climbing that rock. That's where his mind was.

Her yoga pants and cleavage and clean nostrils won her that rose.

Next. Amanda.

Was she an injury faker like Tierra's falling down the stairs incident? Do you think she really busted her jaw as bad as she claimed? I've seen one too many chin-fall accidents. If you bust your chin that hard on the ground, it's going to split. As in blood everywhere. There was no blood. Not even a scratch. Or a bruise. Did she really get hurt? Oh, I'm sure she did. I'm sure it was painful to fall and she probably knocked her jaw out of whack a little bit. Was she overly dramatic about it? Yes. She's on The Bachelor.

Next. Tierra.

And I could write a book just about this one.

First off, and I mention this in a tweet every week, we've got to talk about her forehead dent. I need the back story on that.

And she looks so familiar. I think she resembles a Spears. She could be the sister of Britney and Jamie Lynn.

Tierra

Long lost sister Britney Spears.

Little sis Jamie Lynn.

Do you see it? I sure as heck do. Triplets.

Anyway. Back to that forehead dent. I really want to know how she got a dent in the middle of her forehead. And why does it seem to become more prominent with each passing show? The angrier and more dramatic she gets, the deeper the dent becomes. It's making me nervous. Maybe that's why she fell down the stairs. It threw her balance off.

And when she made the comment about how she didn't want to be bashed over the head with a hammer. (Which screams psychotic and unstable to talk about bashing people over heads with hammers) But, sorry, Tierra. Too late. Someone already did. You have a dented forehead. Probably from a hammer.

You know, when you look at a hammer claw, there are two points. Strangely Tierra's dent has two indentions...OMG. Was she bashed over the head with a hammer? Was she trying to tell us something tonight? A cry for help? I'm really getting scared now, guys.

{Disclaimer: And if there is anyone reading this that doesn't know me or 

my humor by now, please know I'm being totally stupid.}

And the fact that Tierra said being on The Bachelor was "torture" during her whole crying "I wanna go home" bit. Please. If being on The Bachelor is torture, I want to sign up. Spending six weeks without working while living in a mansion while lounging by the pool, wearing fancy dresses, getting roses, going on dates with one guy and 15 girls that you hate...sounds like an absolute dream to me. 

Next. Leslie.

The fact that she said "holy moly" not once but TWICE during the first minute of her date segment sealed her fate. She isn't getting a rose. And she had the worst date: the date where the guy dresses the girl up. Makes her feel like a million bucks--only because he knows he's going to dump her later. "Can I have my necklace back?"

And one lesson you always learn from The Bachelor: when a girl says they're "drama free" or they aren't interested in "drama" or they're not "one of those girls"...they are liars. Liars. They love drama. They're going to name their first born child Drama. 

I'll leave you with a few questions to answer for me:

1. Are you watching this season?

2. Give me your best story on how Tierra got her forehead dent. I'm serious. We need to figure this out.

3. Speaking of seasons, do you hate winter as much as I do?

Think hard. Answer well.