Randoms from a Bum.

Well. Another whole week has passed by and I haven't posted a dern thing. I've become the worst blogger of all time. I've just been busy livin', y'all.
L-i-v-i-n. Living like Billy Madison. I've been a big pile of worthless nothing. I've been out shopping with friends all week and the rest of the time, I have been hanging around my parents house. Laying out by the pool and eating all of their food. That's the way I like to do it.

And speaking of Billy Madison, I saw a banana peel in the grocery parking lot. What do I always think of when I see one? O'Doyle rules! Don't worry. I made sure I carefully steered around the peel. I didn't want to plummet off of a cliff.

I saw a huge display of Red Vines in the grocery store. All that was needed was a display of Mr. Pibb beside it to make it crazy delicious. Seeing the Red Vines made me sing Lazy Sunday. Ironically it was Sunday. And I had a pretty lazy one. Neat, huh?

Since I have no life and no real agenda during the summer, I agreed to meet a repairman at my parents house so that they wouldn't have to leave work to meet him and all that. I mean, I was going to be out there swimming anyway. The night before the scheduled repairman appointment, my family and I were all sitting around talking. The family was saying, "Maybe he'll be cute". Have we really come to this? We're hopeful that a cute repairman will show up and maybe I'll be asked on a date. Sadly that's probably what it's going to take. And if you're curious--he was not cute. He looked like Stephen King. And he wore a flashlight on top of his head. Like he was about to go spelunking.

I really don't like "I Love Lucy". I don't find one bit of funny in that show. She's annoying. And obnoxious. Maybe for back in the day the show was hilarious, but, I just don't get it. The only good thing is that the show is in black and white. That's a relief.

I have never heard so many fireworks in all my life. I feel like I now have a small idea of what it would sound like to live in a war zone. It sounds like we're under attack. My animals are terrified. Fireworks have been going off at all hours of the night since last weekend. The 4th of July is a rednecks favorite holiday and we've sure got a lot of 'em here. Fireworks bring us all together. Let freedom ring.

I put a free app on my phone called Jesus Texts. It sends a different Bible verse to my phone each day--at midnight precisely. When it texts me it makes a heavenly host sound. Like it's being sent direct from an angel. I have mine set to deliver the verses in 'hip-hop' version. Jesus' speech bubble says things like: "I'ma drop dis on ya" or "my pops has somethin' fo' yo' " and then it gives me my daily Bible verse in hip-hop fashion. Word.

I have been doing a lot of shopping. A whole lot of it. I've purchased 9 pairs of shoes in the past month. That's probably a sign that I need some help.

The Cheez-It commercial was just on TV. It's the one where the lab guy is questioning the Cheez-It to see if it is ready and matured. The sign said "Maturation Room" but during my quick glance up to the TV, I swore it said "Masturbation Room". I was feeling really uncomfortable about Cheez-Its for a second.

And speaking of commercials--I Love Lucy might not be a funny show but those Life Alert commercials sure are funny. One day I'm going to be an old lady that has fallen and can't get up and I'm going to regret laughing all these times. Who am I kidding. I can't help but to laugh.

I can't wait to wake up and have another full day of eating, swimming, and other 4th of July festivities. I hope all of you are having the best weekend of all weekends.