Brain Dump.

Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. That's just me sighing.

Not to be cliche and stupid, but it's just been "one of those days". It started out alright enough. I woke up in a fine mood. Stupid tired, but in a fine mood. For whatever reason, I actually decided to put a little bit of effort into getting ready this morning. I wore heels. And I wore my hair down. And it was a gloomy and rainy day. So that's doing a lot.

You know, squirrels are pretty silly animals. On my way to school this morning, I had to stop my car and wait for a squirrel to make up its mind about what he was going to do. He looked like a spaz running back and forth across my side of the road in front of my car. His thought process was, "Other lane or woods? Other lane or woods? Other lane or woods?". Just silly. I started to get a little huffy.

By 10:00 this morning I decided I officially didn't like people today. It didn't help that I kinda had words with someone around that time. Let me clarify that she didn't have many words. No, it was all me. Showering my heated words all over her (as a result of her actions and a continuation of said actions, mind you). I showed myself a little bit. I'm not a hateful bitty and I hate confrontation. It takes a lot to make me mad to the point where I will show it and say something to your face. I have no problem being mad inside my head at all times, but if I verbalize my frustration directly at you, well, then you know I've reached my boiling point. And it's on.

And because that altercation obviously wasn't enough for me, during my lunch break I sent a text to a second recipient of my word attackage. I've been dealing with a frustrating issue for a month now and today it kind of came to a head. I hate that term. Slightly disgusting and inappropriate sounding. Anyway, my reaction was an "Aww hell naw" and an "Oh no she di-n't" type reaction. I'm just done and I want the mess to be resolved. It's ruining my life. Okay, that's way dramatic and it's not ruining my life, but I'm just tired of dealing with it. It's just become ridiculous.

What's funny is that later in the day, one of my friends texted me (she is also unfortunately involved in the above drama. We're obviously both the victims. Obviously.)
Her text was simply: "I hate everybody." I loved her for saying that. Hate was in the air today.

On the plus side, three different people told me I "looked skinny" today. What's funny is that I stepped on the scale this morning (I never weigh myself), and what's even funnier is that I've packed on a good 10 pounds lately. I'm a stress eater and I've definitely been stress eating.
I was grateful for the kind compliments--I definitely needed them today, but it was strictly the outfit I was wearing. It was deceiving on the eyeballs. Black pants and a top that has a belt under the boobs. It's pure trickery, I tell you. It takes away from the junk in the trunk and hips (my problem areas) and draws the eyes up to the waist and boobages. Which, is exactly what you need to be drawing eyes to in an elementary school...

Moving on.

Despite my bad day, I am always thankful that I have a roomful of kids to be around. I have to say that they were a bit off the chain today because they were totally exhibiting "snow behavior", but regardless, they are still fun, and sweet, and they make me smile. I think some kids can just sense when we're having an off day and they're very understanding about it.
One of my little girls (who is very perceptive) came up to me and asked, "Are you sad?" I told her that I wasn't necessarily sad but that I was stressed out. She said, "My Mommy gets stressed out a lot and that makes her yell. Are you going to yell?" I assured her that I was not, even though it would have felt amazing to release a blood-curdling scream. She walked away. She then came back up to me a few minutes later and said, "Maybe you just need to eat a cookie. Then you won't be so stressed out."

Later in the afternoon during our Free Center time, the same little girl was in the Play-doh Center. She made me three Play-doh "cookies" to help with my stress. She used alphabet cookie cutters and cut out a letter S and two M's. She lined them up on my desk: S, M, M and said, "These are your initials." I told her she was close but the middle initial was wrong. She said, "No, it's not. You're Sarah Ms. Marcum." Hilarious. Makes sense.

I went to the grocery to buy a carton of ice cream tonight. It helped. A little. I'm completely eating my feelings lately. I'm on a path of destruction.

I really wish I could say that things are going to look up, but this week is only going to get crazier. And this Procrastinator Extraordinaire has so much homework due by Saturday that it's not even funny. Not funny at all. Like, I can't even think about it or I'm going to cry. I'll have to be touched by an angel to get it all finished. I will pay someone to help me do article reviews. I'm not kidding. If you need to make some extra cash for the holiday season, hit me up.

I shouldn't have stopped doing homework to even write this blog post, but blogging was a form of procrastination, so of course it won. I'm not trying to be all whiny and complainy to get sympathy. I simply needed to vent and Blogger was the solution tonight. Blogging is a free form of therapy. I already feel better.

I don't know why I'm so in love with quotation marks and parentheses usage in this post. Please forgive.