Valentine Balloon Fail.

I found a pack of heart shaped balloons in my Valentine decorations tub at school. Today I thought it would be the grandest idea of all to blow a few up to make our party extra festive. Really I just wanted to get rid of the things. I've had them for a couple years and had never used them. That's the story with a lot of stuff in my classroom. Well. Let me show you the end result first. Here's what the heart balloon looked like all blown up. Sweet, right?

You will notice in the picture that I am holding the balloon. I am doing that because the balloon, even when completely filled with air, would not float. Yes, it's a mystery to me too. Worst balloon in the history of all balloon histories. Obviously these balloons are made to place on the ground of a jr. high school gym floor for a valentine dance. Lame. I did not want them on the floor for kindergarten kids to stomp. I wanted them tied to a chair and floating gracefully for decor purposes only.

Now, here comes the best/worst part. WARNING: this next part is for mature balloon audiences only. When you view the balloon from the top, you see this:

Huh? What do these appear to be? Yeah, click that picture and zoom on in if you want to. It's okay. Why yes! I believe I'm starring at two pink boobs. Totally looks like nips.

Let me show you the picture of how the balloon looked when I first began blowing it up. I had to stop and laugh and make inappropriate jokes with the other two adults that were in my classroom with me (away from children's ears of course). 

Extra perky. 

Needless to say, I popped the balloon and it did not make an appearance at our Valentine's party for all of the student's parents to see. I know. I was sad about it too.

Hopefully you're on a semi-similar maturity level as I am and you can appreciate this and get a little chuckle out of these heart/nippleage balloons. Maybe these should be called "titty hard heart-ons". Sorry. Bad joke and possibly semi-inappropriate to some readers, but if you're on my blog and know me at all, you know there is nothing off limits. I mean, really...the jokes could have gone on and on, but I'll spare you. 

In conclusion, dear friends, if you're looking for cheap party entertainment, I believe we've found it. Go on out and snag you a pack of these heart balloons from a party store near you. 

So, Valentine balloon fail...or success?