So, I am going to admit this sad little fact. I have now been single for 3 years and 7 months. Whoa! Has there ever been a girl in the world that has been single that long!?! Am I a record-holder? It is quite possible and actually admitting it makes me feel almost a bit embarrassed. So, what's my deal? Why single sooooo long? There are actually many reasons for my singleness.
1. My last break-up was bad. I was very sad. An engagement and my life as I knew it had abruptly ended. Not by my choice, I might add. I needed mucho time to heal and I needed to be ALONE. A lot of changes happened very quickly in my life. I lost my best friend and fiance. I was graduating from college. I was soon-to-be interviewing for my first teaching job. I had to search for a new place to live. I lost a lot of my friends that were "our" friends. A lot had to be sorted through and figured out. It took a lot of time. In a sense, I had to create a new "me" and start all over. It was hard. It's over though. Time has done its job and healed and I am totally and completely fine with it now. Sure, it's still a sad and low point in my life to think about, but I came through it and feel that I'm that much stronger and better for it.
About a year after my break-up I went on a "date". I thought I was ready, but as the night progressed, I knew that I wasn't. I ended up locking myself in the bathroom stall and had a good cry. I felt pathetic, but I knew that it just wasn't time for me to date again. Each person is different and I feel that you should allow yourself as much time as needed. You gots to take care of #1 first. That's the way I see it.
2. I am very picky about men. Now, my mother kindly reminded me the other day that I am no "raving beauty" so I shouldn't be so picky. Gee. Thanks for the support and major self-esteem boost. Nothing quite like hearing that. Yes, I am aware that I am not stunningly beautiful and a man's "ideal" woman by any stretch, but I do have standards. I set them high. I feel that I am worth that. My past relationships obviously didn't work out too well for me, so I have raised the bar a bit. Quite a bit. This is why I love my blog quote and relate to it so well. I'm just waiting on MY butterflies. I'd like to find someone that gives me "that" feeling.
3. I'm just not good with the whole dating scene. I guess I'm waiting for my Mr. Right to come knock on my door and we'll live happily ever after. I don't know. I'm just not good with putting myself out there and taking chances. I feel too vulnerable and am afraid of getting hurt again. I have trust issues, unfortunately.
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